Orgasm

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John McCain experiences orgasm while watching old Vietnam War footage.
A woman experiencing the full body trauma of "orgasm island". (psst - she's faking it).
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Orgasm.

“Is that it?!”

~ Your Mother on orgasms

“It's impossible for women to have those.”

~ Captain Obvious on orgasms

An orgasm is an extremely painful sensation caused by intense tickling of very sensitive parts of the body. It hurts so badly that people often cry out to God, to stop the suffering. Surprisingly, males insist to go through this pain several times through the day. The average amount of orgasms for the human male is between 40 to 50 times a week. Most females do not reach that amount in their entire lifes. Throughout history people have inflicted orgasms on each other for sadistic purpose. For those who derive pleasure from another person's pain, there is nothing better then the joy of watching someone's face contort, their bodies begin to flail about helplessly and their screams of "Oh God!"

People even masturbate to give themselves orgasms. Why this drive exists has puzzled biologists for centuries, since most people are allergic to pain.


The sounds of pain some people make whilst nearing/during/after an orgasm[edit]

Get up in there. Oh god. Oh my god. OH. RIGHT THERE OH GOD BOJANGLES OH MY GOD. YES YES YES YES YES. FASTER! FASTER! OH. OH. OH MY GOD. OH SHIT. OH FUCK. OH. OHHHHH. YES! I'M - OH GOD OH MY GOD. HARDER! YES. HARDER HARDER. COME ON! COME ON! DON'T STOP. OH. OH MY GOD I'M CUMMING. I'M OH GOD FUCK. AHH AHHHH AHHHHHH AAAAAAAAA! !UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...OH SHIT...OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT FEELS SO GOOD...AAHHHAAHHHHHH...Oh Jimm...I MEAN JEFF! GOD DAMN IT THAT WAS SO FUCKING SHIT MAN! LETS DO IT AGAIN! : ) RIDE ME HARDER!!!! YA YA YA!!!!

Little girl having an orgasm with god knows what under her. Maybe a hose

Orgasms and International Law[edit]

Despite the fact that the use of orgasms against prisoners of war or civilians for the purpose of extracting information or even just for kicks is expressly forbidden in the Geneva Convention, many countries ignore this and continue to inflict orgasms wherever they please like every man wishes he could. Former Secretary of Cheezburgers Alberto Gonzales has gone on record complaining about the restrictions on the use of orgasms and the United Nation's reaction the USA's unchecked use of them. He said, "Those silly UN guys, expecting us to be all buddy-buddy with the terrorist prisoners. Just as I'm about to try out my new electrode toys and bondage gear, one of those 'inspector' grunts busts in and starts whining and ruins the whole thing. It's as if they expect us to go surfing or water-skiing or something with our enemies!" He later claimed not to recall having said that.

Orgasm and Modern Dietology[edit]

Various studies have proven that a diet rich in carbohydrates helps to avoid orgasms, whereas rapid consumption by the vagina of the male penis may lead to an increase in a person's Net Orgasm Index by Clitoral Elation (NOICE).

External Links[edit]

Too many to mention. We're too busy masturbating to them. Yes, call me!


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