Orgasmic isotope

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For those without a taste for comedy, but with a taste for "father's milk", the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about semen.

“I've found that, even though science says semen is only 25 calories, I've gained 20 pounds because of it.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Semen

“Whats Long hard and full of semen? a Submarine!”

~ Dr. Evil on Semen

Orgasmic isotopes are strange substances which come from male animals. Their nutritional value is indisputable; they contain all of the nutrients necessary for life. They can be produced by gently rubbing the male leg. They have many uses depending on culture.

[edit] Uses of orgasmic isotopes, also known as God's Own Milk, across the globe

Two pints.

• Pygmies in Africa use them as a beauty aid, by rubbing them on their faces they believe they create more youthful skin.
• People in America tend to eat it: a major part of the diet of political leaders and their secretaries.
• If mixed with sea people, it makes a seaciety!
• The French enjoy a good cup of semen with their wine and cheese at noontime.
• The Welsh race has been raised on a diet of sheep semen and goat dung.
• Semen is used as a lubricant in many industrial applications.
• Frog semen is an ingredient in a well known carbonated beverage of the same name.
• The cream in Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.
• Eskimos enjoy their semen frozen, it is a tasty treat for young children after school.
• Principal Skinner of The Simpson's is addicted to it.
• Muslims believe that semen is from Satan and stone anyone caught with the substance. This practice has resulted in a decline in Muslims across the globe.
• Older women love to use semen as hair conditioner, when they wash their hair they sing 'I love spunk I love spunk my whole head is spunk'.
• Semen is believed to be the secret of success of students at Svenska Normalyceumet, better known as Norsen in Helsinki, the capital of Finland.They take it mixed in their milk unknowingly. Thus is why they have succeeded so well in national math tests
• Semen is used in the production of Monkey nipple acid, as well as other niche products around the world. This is braggable on behalf of humanity.
• It's been said that a pair of decorators that run out of wallpaper paste had to wank for a year and a day to get enough paste to stick the paper.
• It is a common misconception that it is sugar and honey that give that sweet taste for kettle corn, but instead it is semen that is using in cooking kettle corn.
• The Philippines has been filling up ship all over the world with newly trained semen.
• Currently the main ingredient in the McDonald's Happy Meal
• The most basic use is for the man to get in the workout known as "sex" with his bitch. He must then insert the semen into her vagina. After the semen develops in the pot, the semen comes back the way it came in, this time in the fundamental stage of "offspring". See, men do all the work in this world, while women just let themselves get deflowered to take what came from the men in the first place. Women never learn.
• An unreleased statistic proves that every clothing item which has been washed with other clothes at least once, has got traces of semen on it.
• Used as one of ingredients of a Burger King burger
• It is the main ingredient in sp00j cola