Orkut

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Orkut is a MySpace like website created by the turkish Orkut Büyükkokten (Orcute Baiácten) that means "I have nothing to do" and is designated for being attacked by Brazilian hackers and pedo guys. It's the easiest way to have sex with a Brazilian child or to know gossips about other people. There's some Indians, Pakistans and Iranians too (see the Axis of Evil), that uses the website to comment cricket matches and terrorism plans.

It's the same shit stuff as MySpace with a different name and color combination:

  • Profile - Where you lie about yourself, you ain't a stupid-tibia-playing-geek, you're actually a cool, 21 year-old model, who just happens to look very similar to Rodrigo Santoro, and you fuck all those fakes hot...HOT girls you've added as friends...all 2,998 of them!
  • Album - Where you can upload the nude photos of your 5 year-old neighbour consuming drugs, pictures of your house, your school, even the license plate of mommy's car!
  • Settings - This is one of the most important areas, since it'd ONLY HERE that you're able to...well...nothing really, it's just there...
  • Scrapbook - The viagra, dick enlargement and diet shake spams messages that you receive, and they're all there, for everyone to see! How amazing is that!?
  • Messages - The place where users should send personal messages instead that don fit the scrapbook
  • Testimonials - The place where the users send personal messages intead of use the message system. Try to tell the Brazilians to do things the way they are suposed to...
  • Friends - Your friends list (if you have one...if you don't, there's always some lonely fake just waiting to be your friend!)
  • Communities - Another way to freely be racial about stuff! express your true opinions!


History[edit]

In the early 15th century, Orkut did not accept new members because it was scared of other hackers. Only existing members could invite new members. As the postal services were very slow at that time, it took a long time grow to at least ten members from zero members. With the invention of E-mail, it took a giant leap forward from ten members to eleven members.

But many users complained that the invite feature made it really difficult to make fake profiles. So, the Orkut team had to start giving "Join now" forms. The forms were made available at various places like your neighbor's house, the other guy's office whom you met at the bar and all military bases. Recently, they (the orkut guys, duh!!!) put the link for the form on the Orkut home page too, where they will tell you where you can get the form from.

Users[edit]

There are many types of users in Orkut, emos, gays, emos, serial killers, emos, brazilians and gay emo Brazilian serial killers. They relationate each other sending all types of spam you can imagine.

Communities[edit]

There are a vast number of communities in Orkut, like who has used your toilet and who has not used your toilet paper. It doesn´t matter, because all the communities has the same games and the same comments, most of them in portuguese.

You get extra points for each community you become a member. An average user has more than 300 communities in their list, regardless of not have accessed half of them. These points can be used in exchange of prizes such as viagra, sex dolls and hello kitty erasers.

See also[edit]