Ort ort ort

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Ort Ort Ort, the infamous pet walrus of Bob Dole led a life of brutal crime before being taken in by the loving care of Mr. Dole. Ort Ort, or Tangiers as he liked to be called, watched his mother get run over by a poacher in a Ford Explorer at a young age. This caused him to experiment with several new African drugs like iced tea and the Y key from most keyboards.

It is rumored he once climbed Mount St. Helens before it exploded. Luckily, Superman, flying very low in order to look at hot chicks saw him and saved him before the explosion. Ort mistook Superman for Bob Dole and the rest is history.

Ort Ort Ort lived to 17, which in walrus years equates to about 67, and finally passed away in 1980. His last words were reportedly "Moose. Indian." Bob Dole was disconsolate upon his passing, and a lavish funeral was held, attended by dignitaries from all over the world, except Afghanistan, where they have never seen a walrus.