Oscar Romero

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
You may be looking for Romero and not even know it!

The poster for the hit film Romero II. You can still clearly see Raul Julia on the poster, right there.

Romero - The Movie!, and Romero II - When the Saints Come In (Or Romero II) are two movies starring Raul Julia, who plays the role of real life Archbishop Oscar Romero. Julia won the year's Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for both films.

Romero - The Movie![edit]

Romero - The Movie! included no other characters other than a stage hand who accidentally walked into shot 25 minutes in. It is a closely guarded Hollywood secret why this was not taken out of the final cut.

Romero II - When the Saints Come In[edit]

A sequel was released years later, Romero II, which included one other principal character, General Rocko "Killer" Sanchez of the El Salvador National Guard (or E.S.N.D.) who was played by Danny De Vito.

Also much unlike the first film 45,000 extras were used who also played members of the E.S.N.D.

Plot overview[edit]

The duo of films follow on from each other but it is mainly the second that gets the most publicity. This is mainly put down to the fact that it is better but also because there is more killing, so much more killing.

For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Oscar Romero.

Romero - The Movie!

In the first film is a monologue of Romero himself telling us of what is going on in El Salvador. He sometimes uses finger puppets to help get his point across.

Romero II - When the Saints Come In however takes the audience on a more action packed ride.

Romero decides that the best thing to do is to break into the E.S.N.G.'s fortified barracks in the town of Lil' El Salvadora and dish out his own unique brand of salvation.

Before he takes to the killing fields he packs a forbidding arsenal under his traditional robes including M16's, Grenades, Mustard gas, hunting knives, 14 revolvers, a pump action shotgun, 2 Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles, some piano wire and plenty of ammo.

By the time he reaches the General's chamber he has expended most of his armoury on the many, many guards he has had to kill and so a 16 minute knife fight ensues. Needless to say Romero wins and in a masterpiece of cinematography he scalps the evil General and eats his head.

One of the movie's best lines happens when Romero has just killed his 20th Guard and he screams at his 21st victim; "I will make you eat his brain!". Romero promptly stabs the stunned guard in the throat and pins him to the wall.

Best Quotes[edit]


  • "I have come to kill you all."
  • "Today my brother, you will die."
  • "I can not promise not to slit you open."
  • "I will kill you now."
  • "Its time for a total eclipse of your nuts!"
  • "You killed my family."
  • "I learned to fight like this is the village that you burned."
  • "I am sorry General, but it is the way of my people!"

General Rocko:

  • "Kill that bastard!"
  • "Not you again!"
  • "Ahhhggg! Ahhhggg! My scalp! Ahhhhgggg!"

Misc. Guards

  • "No! Not in my neck!"
  • "I was only following orders!"
  • "Run! Run! That crazy priest just killed Frank! He's mad!"
  • "Runaway!"
  • "He'll kill us all, I just saw him jump 60 feet in the air and spray bullets over everyone like some sort of monster - (He is shot in the stomach and colapses on the floor) - Ahhhggg! Ahhhhggg!"
  • "He's like some sort of crazy murderous kangaroo but all horribly wrong! Not like in the zoo at all, oh no! Ahhhhgggg! Oh please have mercy Mon Senior! Ahhhhhggggg!"
  • "My face!"

Selected cast[edit]

See Also[edit]