Other ways humans are just icky

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The Primary reason humans are icky is their relationship to people who are drummers, or play the drum. Man being a vile breed enjoys such sports as war, football, jumping, crying, and running from things which are bigger and and hairier than they are. When one has the misfortune of being born human one must take into account their own inherent ickieness, which can lead to depression, especially once they have reached schoolage.

But all this is for naught if one cannot understand the history of ickieness.


The History of Ickieness[edit]

Ickieness]] was born in 1789 to proud parents Gary Coleman and George Takei, both of whom wanted a girl. When ickienss was 7 he was president of the chess club at his elementary school. He Loved Chess club because it let him learn all about pocket protecors, horn rimmed glasses and dungeons and dragons. When Ickieness graduated from highschool(top of his class of course) he began to attend the college of pirate ninja jesus, the supreme deity of ALL. Upon realizing that his chosen line of work would not fulfill him, ickieness decided that his best plan of action was to inhabit hapless individuals like George W. Bush, Hilary Clinton, and Brian Peppers. All of this pleased Pirate Ninja Jesus mightily, and he promoted him to Pope of Czechoslovakia. This made his parents very proud. When Takei and Coleman treid to hug ickieness in congradulations they were vaporized instantly. This made Ickieness very sad, at which point he became angry and created nerds as revenge on the world. He created emos too, but they were too icky for Ickieness himself, and he pitied them and forced these twisted nerd offshoots to become self hating and Gay. This Displeased Pirate Ninja Jesus as well as God, because God hates having to hate the Gay adjacent, like he did during hurricane Katrina, when He destroyed all of New Orleans, except the Gay dominated French Quarter. And this brings us to Modern times.


Hobbies of Ickieness[edit]

- Chess - Leap Frog - The Robot - Drooling

Purveyors Of Ickieness[edit]

- Bill Clinton - Bill Gates - Your Mom - Einstein - Brian Peppers - anyone whos name starts with a b or e

How To Not Be Icky[edit]

This is Simple: Don't be born Human