Outhouse

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An old fashioned outhouse.
These days you just bury the hole and move to a new spot.

An outhouse is a ancient storage device for fecal matter alternatively known as shit.

Outhouses are still used today by those who lack modern plumbing such as the Amish, Vikings, Arkansasians or gypsies.

In olden times outhouses were emptied and the contents were carried by homing squirrels to the nearest landfill or your neighbour’s yard on occasion. An alternative to the wild beast known as squirrel would be a well trained lemur. It has been found that fish and plants are very poor shit carriers.

While this practice still goes on today, especially in poorer countries like China, The modern outhouse has changed dramatically. While it is human nature to not want to go through the torture of building code brought down by the evil Jewish conspiracy has forced it. Fortunately new outhouses have walls to prevent people from seeing you while you are busy.

The inventor was probably the first guy to crap in a hole.

Not to be confused with privy or with the Privy Council in Ottawa.

Outhouse as an Architectural Term[edit]

Outhouse, in the field of architecture, means a house that is inverted, i.e. carpet is outside of walls, dirt is inside, appliances litter the lawn, stairs cover the exterior, and so on.

Outhouse vs. White House[edit]

There is only one minor difference between the outhouse and the White House: if the occupant of the White House is full of shit, the smell is noticeable as far east as Baghdad.

Otherwise, the two are the same.

Outhouse as an e-mail program[edit]

There is also an e-mail program called "Outhouse", often mistakenly referred to as Outlook. Unlike the usual sort of outhouse which serves as a means of getting shit away from you, this Outhouse brings in lots of shit to you, in the form of spam and viruses.

Unknown Outhouse Facts[edit]

  • There is one outhouse in the White House Constructed for George Bush because he was too stupid to use a regular toilet.

See also[edit]