Ozzie Fudd
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[edit] Heeeeeere's Ozzy!
In the beginning of a chaotic time period known as the 80's, a strange occurance happened. Elmer Fudd and Pamela Anderson, had a little liquor and "accidently" fell in bed. The next morning, Pamela found out she was pregnant. They found no other way out of it except to marry and hope for the best. Months past and soon their son was born. He had gigantic toenails, fiery eyes, and a mullet. They named him Ozzy since Ozzy Osbourne was Elmer's friend. Growing up, Ozzy was forced to listen to British comedies like "Your Mother is so large in mass" "Fix up my motor vehicle" and, "Monty Python's Flying Circus." But unfortuate for him it warped his mind so bad he thought he was a British guy for twelve years before his Mom booby-slapped him into submission. Every night he was forced to get his Dad and his drunken, beer swilling friends beer. And every night he was hit with beer bottles.
[edit] No more Bunny Rabbits
In the year of 13 B.C. Ozzy began listening to Underground Dark Dank Sewers Death Metallics. He loved it right away and decided to start a band. Though since he couldn't find anyone to play for the band, he decided to go it alone. His first song was about his bad experience with a bunny, and it was called "No more Bunny Rabbits." The song was a big hit and inspired the slaughtering of rabbits everywhere. This was known as the period of "Bunnies Suck." As the years went on, Ozzy became a traveling guitarist and hunter of all animals. And so the legend goes, "Ozzy Fudd, hunter of Rabbits with his steel keytar shotgun chants the melody. No more Bunny Rabbits! No more Roger Rabbits! and certainly no more Playboy Rabbits!"
[edit] Warning
Ozzy Fudd is so drunk some times, that if you are wearing anything gray, he will shoot you while playing a parody of the tune "I like big butts" (a.k.a. I like to get drunk and shoot things.)
[edit] Weird Al Yankovic
As the years went on, Ozzy began to attract young fans, one of which was Wierd Al Yankovic. Wierd Al and Ozzy made a good team, even though considering the fact that Wierd Al was part Transvestite, part Ham eating zombie, and part horse smoothie machine. They traveled together, ate together, and even shared the same prescription drugs. But one day, that all changed. When Ozzy and Al just finished a street concert, they met the fabled mafia leader, Bob McBaconsandwich. He told them that if they signed over to his record company, then they could get 61.20 slices of American Cheese every day. They gladly signed and soon became the cheese gods of yore. Then one day they got tired of being cheese gods and asked Bob if they could become Clown Lords instead. As usual the stupid idiot said that they didn't have what it took to be Clown Lords and said that the only way to become a Clown Lord was to listen to John Stamos and that one-boobed chick from Kung Pow! sing a medley of songs about what happens when you take drugs. As they sat through the deadly first hour, Wierd Al's eyes were forced out of his head and later became a cowboy and joined the Village People in a futile attempt to destroy the one-boobed chick. Whenthe two passed the test, they became the Clown Lords they hoped to be, and more! Because they became meteorologists on the Today show and killed Al Roker for the job. But one day, Ozzy found Wierd Al passed out at the concession table in the studio, apparently passed out from eating to many pieces of Ricard Simmons flavored candy. As Al woke up Ozzy told him in song that he couldn't be with a man who was addicted to Richard Simmons flavored candy and left him. ZSoon after, Wierd Al Yancovic became President Pork Chop of the Benited States of America.
