PCP

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But be a mother fucker! DO IT!!!

“I just want more; I can't get enough of you

~ Tamia on PCP


History of PCP[edit]

The Greeks extracted PCP from the stems of the hemlock plant, using a combination of semen and Clorox bleach.

The resulting fluid was refined into either phencyclidine or anal lube, with which the Greeks are also credited. (external link)

"oh my god!!! There are to many of them!!! To many MUDKIPS!!!!!!" Marx ON PCP

It is said that the Greek philosopher Socrates died from a massive hemorrhage during a "philosophical gathering" aka (butt orgy) with his "colleagues".

PCP was used as a medical anesthetic in the early 1950's but its medical use was discontinued when disturbing side effects were noticed among patients. It was eventually used as animal tranquillizer, but even its use on animals was halted after researchers decided to use it on a female Kodiak grizzly bear, and were subsequently mauled by an extremely angry, extremely high, 1500 lb bear.

Today, PCP is consumed recreationally in a few isolated areas, mainly in the United States. It can be used in liquid form, but it is more commonly sprayed onto leaves and smoked. The Vatican, however, has named PCP the official illegal drug of the Pope, and over 3 kg of it is consumed there every week.

Effects of PCP[edit]

In addition to its anesthetic properties, PCP is also a powerful hallucinogen, and users can go absolutely batshit insane from taking it.

Another notable side effect of taking PCP is the immediate need felt by the user to shed their clothing and to instigate combat with all vehicles in the immediate vicinity. For a visual example of this phenomena see any day time 'Police-Camera' type show, where the following rule can be applied; lack of clothing plus hatred of motorized automobiles equates to the offender having a wicked time on Maggy T (see Code Names Below).

Many people who have no desire to communicate with the tv newscaster explaining to them why they are simply orbs of glue on a meta-physical plane that is crashing into the twin towers repeatedly, are forced into such experiences by the copious amounts of spiking of poor quality marijuana by dealers who have no clue that dickto make you into a schizophrenic raving StairMaster on crack.

One notable effect of PCP is the ability to make you realise the nature of reality by having it fucked with to such a degree that one would rather kill themselves than come to terms with the painting on the their wall merging with demons flying in from the peripheries of the the users vision. In realising this inherent nature of reality, PCP has been known to trigger a well-timed inner cardiac arrest in human beings that fires several days after the experience, thereby prematurely ending the said, newly discovered loving relationship between subject and object. Furthermore, introducing the young amoeba to a strain commonly known as "Orange Kush."

It also gives you strength equivalent to the juggernaut perk in Call of Duty 4. That is to say that you can be shot by a .50 calibur rifle bullet and walk it off within 5 seconds.

Code Names[edit]

    • Moon dust
    • Angel dust
    • pussy lik
    • Ziggy Stardust

Conclusion[edit]

PCP is an extremely fun and liberating drug. In other words, use it, because it'll really fuck you up, and if you're lucky, you could get sent to Federal, pound-em-in-the-ass prison.

See Also[edit]