Panic! at the disco
“Oh Jesus! Run! The disco's on fire! I don't wanna die!”
“well,thats the only time we'd need a disco inferno,when these faggots play”
“I think Im going to cry,better make sure its on my mascara or no one will notice”
“The shittest,motherfucking wankest, group of male cock munchers i have ever seen/heard”
“i love pancakes at the disco except they interrupt my dancing i am going DOOT DOOT DOOOOOTOTOTO and then maple syrup fliles on a girl and i'm like ahhhhhhh fuck”
The Voice. Barney Urie
Panic! At the disco are a very unique sound. They have pianos,trumpets,strings, and that carnival stuff. Then we have Brendon Urie. He said in an interveiw with a magazine "When I was a young boy, I was watching this awesome episode of Barney once. Then like..Barney started singing. I was thinking..I want to grow up to be just like him." and he continued.."I don't want to be different. I want to be just like Barney." Following his dream, little Brendon approached Barney in private backstage one sunny day in 1999. "He was sooo cool" said Brendon, "So I just asked him for private voice lessons one day and he agreed. I was amazed." Brendon Urie continues to watch Barney. "And the best thing" explained Urie, "Now I sound like Barney. Now my dream has come true" Today; Brendon Urie perfers dancing with prostitutes and hookaz on tour and in music videos, such as in "But It's Better If You Do". Brendon still keeps "The Barney Within." Exposing his love for Barney in the song, "I Constantly Thank God for Esteban." Saying "Strike Up The Band!" Which is a quote from Barney.
Brendon refers to his blowjobs as "B-Jobs". He says he adds a little tingle by wearing sour patch kids flavoured condoms. He refers to it as a "Spicy Blowjob". This evidence has been supplied by Ryan Ross, fellow bandmate and seckzbuddy. "I enjoy a B-Job every day" says Ryan, "They're sour, then they're sweet >;-D "
A Preview from the dustbin.
Panic!at the disco are the underground 5 peace that started in 1969 making progressive funk.The band at the time was made up Ted Danson, George Wendt, Richard O'Brian and Thom Yorke.They achieved no succes at all.30 Years later after changing EVERYTHING about the band!,they returned to write anthems about crying, how to make your hair look extra wet, and the best time to masturbate with the intention of getting caught by mother(Ryan Ross has gone at length to explain that this gives extra "Jizz") The Line up now consists of members Rick Ross, Spencer Tracy,Ghostface and Brian Wilson.By 05 the band were in there new line up dominated the new up and coming 'weep like a lil bitch' movement popularised by shit like Fall on yo ass Boy, Second Hand!, My Chemical Enema and Some town In Buffy.The newly hip! and happening! crew went on to name the lengthy list of influences and included some surprises, in fact thats totally untrue- the list didnt include any surprises whatsoever, the usual Emo name drops such as The Smiths, The Cure, Dead or Alive, Kajagogo, Shakespears Anus and everything by Wham.
The 'Alternative!' Name Tag.
The early history! of the band was fraught with difficulties,the first being the bands first real name, 'Hispanic at the Disco' it was decided that the name be dropped after legal problems, not to mention any time they played gigs that had mexicans present, they would get doused with tequlia and brutally ass whupped by big guys in ponchos and sombreros. A Mexican went on to say; "hey homes,we dont want these fuking pussy ass eses representing us...at discos." The other jarring problem facing the band in the early 90s was what current scene they wanted to jump on at.At the time, Grunge and trad Dub wernt doing it for them.In 1989 however,lead Rick rushed down the stairs of the house they were all sharing and spoke of a dream he had, claiming a grilled manequin had spoken to him of what musical direction the band should next plunder to make some big bucks.The band then settled on Emo!, but lied to everyone else by saying that they fused elements of Electronica, Emo, wank-core, and free jazz.Oh and maybe some gay caberet seeing as My Cereal Romance have sold a few copies to 8 year olds and twats across the uk.
By 3030 it seemed that the guttarul whinings that the group called music! had suddenly become hip, as the country, nay, the world had been caught in the iron grip of Emos.The (S)hit singles "The Only Difference Between making money and our feeble music Is our Press Coverage" and 'I write Cheques, not rhymes' did farely well!, well enough for the 22 little girls and boys with there oh so cool jeans hangin of they asses and neatly combed hair that covers one side of there face perfectly, to be happy.Little fuckers.The fans of Manic at the disco usually fall in2 the category of 'sad, deluded rich kid', Silver spoon fed,everything handed on a silver platter fucks', 'I'll whine about how unfair everything in my life is, espcially how ime not aloud to buy the newest element hoodie untill I complete my homework' and mainly 'Ime such an attention seeking fuck up, soon my wrists will run red with.....hmmm,can I think of something melodramitic to say??................I fucking hate you dad' Ashtmatic at the disco have to this day released 72 albums,all sequels to the last and all total turd,the band have said themselves that they arent happy with the first 56 and would like to redo the first twelve as there stint as rent boys hadnt had the desired effect on there music at this point.
That bottle attack.
In july 1932 Static at the disco played a few minor gigs in austria,but on a number of occasions,sensible people turned up with items ranging from pure fecal matter to decaying limbs, all with the sole intention of pinging the awfull guff at the band, one thrower said; "ive been saving this dead decaying raven in a jar! for when I wanted to give to kid next door rabies, but when the band came here, i just knew ide have to try and throw the shit in that motherfuckers mouth!" Other items to be used as weapons ranged from cactuses, gastrol inflated warthogs, nuclear missiles and pure sewarage.At the last gig,the band were showered with so much awfull debris that by the end of the gig, the stage had been transformed into a toxic,sulphuric and deeply dangerous wasteground! with Reds and Mechs moving in to try and salvage any vestiges of life,the band however were to be vapourized on sight.The scale of the attack on the group had made a disguisting wasteland visible from mars that plumed mile long arcs of green smoke in2 the atmosphere,Georgia Bush denied all existence of the site, claiming; "its a false conspiracy concocted by lefties and environmentalist terrorist to stop us building SUVS and illegally fucking over countries whos resources we want!oh,the group?!fuck them,I like Razorlight bitches!they let me get busy with a salami!
Today and the future.
After it was revealed that the band! minus all the members made it out of the blazing warground that austria had became once they played there gig,it came to the publics attention that the band were nothing more then record executives idea of a group!The group had in fact come of a Record company conveyar belt in the middle east and the vocals were all just loops of Rupert Murdoch! and Bill Gates! voices in the shower slowed down 500 hundred times and then passed through cross faders and then warped on an oscillater. The origional vocal is meant to say, "we will rule the world through sulky teenagers and capitalist hair style mongering!all your Base belong to us, Numa Numa aye"The band (now represented as a single eye in The Mountain Of Mordor,near the cracks of doom and right above waymouth) have,un-surprisingly,failed to comment.
There were many rumors that lead singer Brendon Urie and guitarist Ryan Ross were apparently in a serious relationship. These rumors were confirmed by the couple in a recent interview. "We were meant for each other and we know it," said Ross as he winked. "Ryan likes to fuck me hard every night," added Urie as they were cudding as they always do. They love to show their affection for eachother usually in public, giving out more and more evidence that they were obviously gay, every single time. Many say that its just a joke so they could get more publicity. "Our love is real bitches," said Brendon Urie in another recent interview. While preforming live on stage, "Ryden" often make out with eachother, or get really close, and if you're lucky enough to see they might just "do it" on stage. Ryan and Brendon will be releasing a sex tape some time in the near future, most likely in early 2007. It will available for download at a website near you.