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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Paracetamol.

Paracetamol was created by men in white coats in the early 20th century.


Aspirin was been discovered growing on trees in handy, soluble packet-like seeds in the early 18th century. The Aspirin trees were found all over the world and eventually cultivated into huge orchards in Belgium, the source of most Aspirin today.

However, in some parts of South America although Aspirin trees could be found, none of its helpful packet-like seeds were ever found. An expedition was sent to the jungle to investigate where all the seeds had gone and found many indigenous tribes living in the area and none ever suffered from aches or pains. With typical Victorian British scientific rigour the expedition claimed the mystery solved: the tribesmen were taking the packets and eating them.

James Boots[edit]

One famous pharmacist James Boots (later knighted and founder of the company of the same name) discovered just how wrong the early investigators were on an expedition of his own in 1923. Setting off from Liverpool with extensive staff and helpers, Mr Boots self-funded a drug-discovery expedition to South America. After a short stop off in the Caribbean the team proceeded down to the mouth of the Amazon and headed upstream cataloging new plants along the way.

When the team arrived at the tribal villages previously explored they noted that the tribesmen were in good condition but their more careful observations determined that it was not in fact the tribespeople who were taking the Aspirin seeds. Their diet consisted mainly of the local vegetables and jungle birds. One in particular had special significance, the Amazon parrot. Known by the locals as "EH THATH THISS" (roughly translates as "head soother bird") the bird was eaten at all meal times. Taking some of the meat himself for analysis Mr Boots discovered that it was the Parrots eating all of the Aspirin and their meat that was keeping the tribespeople in good health.

Mr Boots organised a contract with the tribespeople to collect a fair number of these birds each week and ship them back to England for processing.

The Amazon parrot is now farmed heavily in Brazil, and shipped around the world for processing.

See Also[edit]