Passion of the Christ
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“That movie really turned me on to Jesus... How can you resist the son of God, especially when he's naked and has a six pack?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Passion of the Christ
“Fucking Jews. Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”
~ Mel Gibson on Jews
“Passion of The Christ need a sequel.”
~ The Game on Passion of The Christ
“After seeing this movie, i think we should celebrate Jesus' birthday on the same day as Christmas from now on...”
~ George W. Bush on seeing The Passion of the Christ
The Passion of the Christ (formerly known by the working titles Mel Gibson Murders Christ and later on as Get Rich Off Christ Dying) is a comedy film released in 2004 and directed by Mel Gibson. It is widely considered to be the first (and most successful) Christian snuff film and has grossed more than $389,240,971.52 worldwide. Mel Gibson has also been optimistic that the film will perform equally well when it is released on Mars in 2046. The film focuses on Christian values such as gore, whipping, nailing through bone to wood, gore, violence and violence, oh and there was something about money and greed in the beginning.
The idea of a Christian snuff film had been floating around Hollywood for several hundred years, and many of Hollywood's brightest stars have expressed interest in being a part of one.
While Mel Gibson claims that the entirety of the movie is based on beatific visions shown to him by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the vast majority of Pastafarians reject this claim. Instead it has been noted that the majority of the film is based on the book How All Those Dirty Little Hebrew Bastards Killed Our Lord and Savior, Justifying Their Eternal Damnation in Hell by the crazed old nun Catherine Anne Emmerich who inscribed the first twenty three chapters on a single roll of toilet paper using her own poop as a writing utensil.
The film's original working title Mel Gibson Murders Christ was protested by several dozen liberal activist groups for being "politically incorrect", the loudest objections coming from the group Jews for Christ Killing, who thought that the title implied that Gibson was trying to take credit for Jesus' death. Its second working title, Get Rich Off Christ Dying, was greeted with enthusiastic reaction (from Mel). However, he was forced to change the title because it was deemed too similar to another film that was in production at the time, the 50 Cent bio-pic dramedy Get Rich Off of Never Shutting Up About Getting Shot 9 Times or Die Tryin'.
The original draft of the script was written by a room filled with monkeys and a typewriter, and was to be based on Gibson's "visions." When the writing team instead produced an adaptation of Hamlet which takes place on the Planet of the Apes, Gibson had the entire team of monkeys slaughtered, prepared and fed to the cast and crew while filming was in progress.
Jim Caviezel, who played Jesus in the movie, had two dozen clones of himself made for the movie who served as "death doubles", which made the film's extensive gory sequences as realistic as possible. By the time filming was completed, 20 of the death doubles had been killed for the movie, including 3 accidental deaths (two were struck by lightning and the third suffered a cranial explosion caused by one of the crew members who was demonstrating his telekinetic powers). The four remaining doubles were killed, and their blood was used to bake a cake which the cast and crew shared during the wrap-up party.
The film ranked #1 on AFI's 100 Years... 100 Laughs list.
[edit] Sequels and remakes
Director Spike Lee will re-make this film in 2013 to "blackenize the White Man Christ Mel Gibson has portrayed". The Passion of Christ 2: The SuperFly TNT will star:
- Chris Farley - Jesus Christ
- Mel Gibson - Jean-Claude-Van-Damme
- Barack Obama as himself
- Whitney Houston - Tom Metzger
- Sacha Baron Cohen - Freddie Mercury
- Michael Jackson - Bill O'Reilly
[edit] See Also
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