Pastafarian Islam

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Tamia-u akbar!!!!!

“I am the Seal of the Prophetesses”

Pastafarian Islam is the lovechild of the world's only two monotheistic religions. Adherents of the belief are called Pastafarian Muslims. Pastafarian Muslims believe that the prophet Pirate Muhammed is the messenger of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and that his written works, the Pasta Qur'an (translated in English as the Pasta Cookbook), are direct recitations from the words of the Supreme Noodly Being.


The practice of Pastafarian Islam involves adherence to the Five Pirates of Islam, which are the five duties of the Pastafarian Muslim community: profession of faith (represented by Jolly Roger), ritual prayer (Blackbeard), beer tax (Jack Sparrow), eating only spaghetti during Pastafarian Ramadan (Redbeard), and pilgrimage to the Stripper Factory (Oprah).

Pirate Muhammed in the cove[edit]

At age 40 and after a life of little plundering, Pirate Muhammed is believed to have retreated to a cove in the shores surrounding Mecca for meditation and reflection. Pastafarian Muslims believe that in this cove, he received his first divine revelation from the FSM. Shortly after, he began preaching Pastafarian Islam and the pirating way of life.

A religion of pesto or hake?[edit]

Whether Pastafarian Islam is a religion that promotes pesto or hake (a small kind of fish) on pasta has been a source of much controversy. Virtually all adherents claim that the religion is one of pesto only, yet a minority will continue to place hake on their dishes, especially while crashing planes.

Scholars who have studied this issue have said that the Pasta Qu'ran contains different sections that at different points advocate either pesto or hake, and thus it is a matter of upbringing and taste.

Pirate Muhammed and the mountain, trees, and midgit[edit]

A famous Pastafarian Islamic saying goes like this: If the mountain, trees, and midgit will not come to Pirate Muhammed, Pirate Muhammed will go to the mountain, trees and midgit. This saying dates back to a legend in which Pirate Muhammed is asked by an infidel to prove his teachings. To do so, he orders the original mountain, trees, and midgit created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster to come to him. When these items do not move, Pirate Muhammed says that the FSM had been merciful. Had the items in question obeyed Pirate Muhammed's command, they would have fallen on them all. Pirate Muhammed then says, "I will therefore go to the mountain, trees, and midgit and thank the FSM that he has had mercy on a stiff-noodled generation."

An alternate version of this story says that Pirate Muhammed commanded the beer volcano to come to him, rather than the mountain, trees, and midgit.

See Also[edit]