Pedobear
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[edit] Pedobear
In human history, there have been a few true Renaissance Men and Renaissance Women. These are people who seem to know about, and be able to do, almost anything. Leon Battista Alberti, Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo Galilei, Shen Kuo, Benjamin Franklin, Abū Bakr Muhammad ibn Zakariyā Rāzī, Mary Somerville, Omar Khayyám Ravenhurst, Danny DeVito. But the world has only seen one true Renaissance Bear, and that is Pedobear.
[edit] Beginning
In November 1902, United States President Theodore "Pedo"[1] Roosevelt was invited to a bear-hunting trip by the governor of Mississippi. The hunting party did not know that a chapter of the anti-black, anti-Union KKK[2] had started a fire to frighten away American Black Bears.
Party member Benjamin Franklin V, descendant of the American Revolutionist who created the Union Fire Company, led a valiant fire fighting effort. But he ran out of water, and became trapped in a deadly circle of fire. He was certain he was doomed. But then he saw a small brown bear with exceptionally large, round ears. The baby bear stood on its hind legs, and start urinating. The bear pee was enough to extinquish a break in the circular wall of flame, and Franklin escaped. He picked up the bear, and took it with him back to camp.
But Franklin knew the hunting party would kill any bear they found. So he claimed "it's not a bear, just a lost young boy in a bear suit. He peed on the roaring flames and saved my life."[3]
President Roosevelt became so enamoured of the "lost boy" that he named the bear after himself. Thus began the fame, and the secret, of Pedobear.[4]
[edit] Toys and Santa Claus
Clifford Berryman drew an extremely popular cartoon of Roosevelt saving the "boy in a bear suit." Rose and Morris Michtom respectfully created and promoted a cuddly version of the "bear cub," which they originally called Teddy Pedo's Bear. Unfortunately, many children had trouble pronouncing the long name, and thus didn't ask for it. Consequently, the toy did not sell well.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa Claus came to the Michtom Toy Company. Due to loud protests and scuffles during the 1903 Elf Workers Strike, St. Nicolas snuck out after sundown and rushed to purchase some last-minutes Christmas gifts. But he was gravely concerned over the safety of his sleigh. He feared that elves would steal it at the last minute, preventing him from making his annual run. In a request that has since become famous, Santa said to Rose and Morris, "Rude elves with their noisy fight, won't you hide my sleigh tonight?"[5]
As his reading glasses were fogged up, Santa couldn't make out the list of toys he needed. Reading, he said, "and I need five dozen Ted, Fred, Dead, Head, what's that say? Teddy something." Rose said "Pedo's bear?" "That's the name," said Santa. "Give me five dozen Pedobears." The name stuck like virgin honey to a bear's paw. The "stuffed boy toy in a bear suit" became extremely popular, as children all across America pleaded "I want to do cuddles with Pedobear!" The popularity of the stuffed boy spread like butter, and it is now one of the best-selling toys in the world.
[edit] Fashion
Because the bear had been singed by the flames, the legs, arms and back of his clothing were burned off, leaving gaping holes. This inspired the popular children's undergarment (originally strictly boys' underwear) called the "teddy."[6]
In the late 20th century, the undergarment became increasingly popular with teenage girls and women. This was part of the Lolita or Pedobear fashion movement as women shaved their legs, underarms and nether regions bare in order to look more like preteen and prepubescent girls. Men who were attracted to women who shaved off their body hair became known as "pedophiles."
[edit] Youth organizations
[edit] Boy Scouts
Robert Baden-Powell founded the Boy Scouts as an organization in 1908, a few months after the first scout encampment at Brownsea Island Scout camp in 1907. While the origanization was originally targeted for boys between the ages of 11 and 16, younger boys wanted to join. Baden-Powell then created a division for younger boys. In honor of "the boy in a bear cub costume," this young boy division was named Cub Scouts.
[edit] Girl Guides and Girl Scouts
Girls told Baden-Powell that they too wanted to become scouts. At the time this seemed completely impractical, as girls' skirts and dresses were so short they could barely move for fear of exposing their nether regions. A report in the Scout newspaper said, "If a girl is not allowed to run, or even hurry, to swim, ride a bike, or raise her arms above her head, how can she become a Scout?"
But Lady Olave Baden-Powell, the Boy Scout founder's wife, famously asked, "if boys can wear underwear, why can't girls?" She promoted the teddy and "knickers" (named after the teddy or camiknickers) as suitable wear for females. Lady and Lord Baden-Powell then formed the Girl Guides (in American called Girl Scouts) in 1910. As happened with younger boys and Boy Scouts, younger girls wanted to participate. Thus began Brownies, named after Brownsea Island, which of course was named after the urinating brown Pedobear.
[edit] Books
[edit] Paddington Bear
Michael Bond based Paddington Bear on a lone pedobear he noticed on a shelf in a London store near Paddington Station on Christmas Eve in 1956. He bought it as a present for his son James. Ironically, as Bond like everyone else believed Pedobear to be a human in a bear suit, the fictional Paddington is a real bear.
The Brown family discovers Paddington Bear carrying marmalade sandwiches in a battered suit case while wearing his Aunt Lucy's bush hat.[7] Mr. and Mrs. Brown and their children Johnathan and Judy soon convince Paddington to join their family.[8]
The series of books began with A Bear Called Paddington (1958). The first three stories in the collection are "Please Look After This Bear," where Paddington meets the Browns; "A Bear In Hot Water," where the family tries to convince the shy bear to join them in the family bath; and "Paddington Goes Underground," where the bear gets in trouble with an inspector after he unwittingly brings Jonathan and Judy some underground comic books.
The book series continued to feature Paddington's adventures with his family. Titles included Paddington's Blue Peter Story Book (1973) (re-released in 2003 as Paddington's Blue Ball Story Book) and 1974's Paddington on Top.
[edit] Peter Pan and Wendy
To avoid being mistaken for the British secret agent, James M. Bond wrote children's stories under the bear-friendly name of J. M. Barrie. Following in his father's footsteps, he also created a fictional version of Pedobear. Barrie restored the corrupted American name Pedo to its original Pedro, then translated that into the British version or Peter.[9] Peter's pretend wife and mother he adapted from his own childhood pretend wife and mother Minnie Rae, and named her after his favorite American fast food restaurant Wendy's.
[edit] Foot notes
- ↑ The American president's original middle name was "Pedro," but he changed to the more Anglicized version "Pedo" during the 1898 Spanish–American War.
- ↑ The Kanine Kennel Klub, or KKK, is an pet registry that stresses racial purity.
- ↑ The brown bear's heroic peeing led to the Brownsea Island being named in his honor.
- ↑ Because of his heroic peeing on the wildfire, the "boy" bear was sometimes called Peebear, but the name did not catch on.
- ↑ Santa later filed a copyright suit against songwriter Johnny Marks who rewrote the lyrics in his song "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" as "Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
- ↑ The undergarment is sometimes called camiknickers or the bear back teddy.
- ↑ Because of public confusion over the construction of Paddington's hat, it was soon changed from his Aunt Lucy's bush hat to his Uncle Pastuzo's bush hat.
- ↑ Mr. and Mrs. Brown were based on author Michael and his wife, and Johnathon and Judy were based on their son James and his best friend Minnie Rae aka Wendy.
- ↑ Paddington's Blue Peter Story Book of course hinted at the meaning of "Peter."
