Penelope Pitstop

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Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward (1894 - 1933), better known by her stage-name as Penelope Pitstop was a multi-millionaire racing-champion and heir to the Creighton-Ward estate in Missouri, where she spent all her life.

Family History[edit]

The Creighton-Wards were rich landowners from Great Britain who owned 0.00002% of land in Shropshire. In an effort to expand their Empire, the Creighton-Wards sold off all land and emigrated to America in 1752.

With the American Civil War in the distance, the Creighton-Wards quickly showed their support for the Confederacy, and bought up a majority of lands in Arkansas and Missouri, thus with a total of 0.0002% of land, far more than they had in Britain.

When Lord Creighton-War was killed in the War of 1812 by a passing hairpin, the Creighton-Wards decided to settle down and leave the fighting to others.

As time passed, the Creighton-Wards bankrupted most of the peasantry and confiscated their land to farm home-grown Plates. The wealth also grew, and it eventually boiled down to the final heir, Lady Penelope.

Racing Career[edit]

Penelope had also contributed to increasing the family inheritence by becoming the first female racing driver to drive and apply make-up at the same time. With her two cars, the Fab 1 and the Compact Pussycat, Penelope won 9 of the 16 Wacky Races in the Hanna Barbera Championships between 1928 and 1929.

In league with the Mafia[edit]

With no heirs herself, Penelope was approached by the Ant Hill Mob, who offered to be Penelopes' protectors in exchange for becoming her heirs. Penelope took a liking to the Mob and trusted them, particularly newcomer Howard the Duck, who she slept with on occassions.

Death[edit]

In 1933, Penelope was found dead in her Chicago apartment, killed by Howard the Duck who had also stolen most of her valuables. The coroner concluded that she had been suffocated due to the high amount of feathers down her throat.

Today, Penelope Pitstop is buried in the Creighton-Ward family crypt at Lemon Twist, Arkansas.