People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata

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भारत गणराज्य
جمهورية مصر العربية
מְדִינַת יִשְׂרָאֵל
საქართველო
People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata
"Can their name get any longer?"
Flags4.jpg CoatofArm.jpg
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Yeah"
Anthem: "For the People's Glorious Republic of penis OR Uukumbamabahalarata!"
Capital Mimbahis
Largest city Imbohutu
Official language(s) Portuguese, Enqliqs, Denglisch
Government Totalitarian rule
Namuurokunniringus (President) N'Doginga Nkosa Imbomahuutuu
‑ Established by Lenny Imbomahuutuu
National Hero(es) Maddox Jolie
Established April 1898
Currency The Big Mac
Religion Teeism, islam
Population 9,600,000
Internet TLD .Imbu

“Aha! A vountry without quotes! Or, well, not any longer...”

~ Oscar Wilde on This article

“I think I'll make my next film/sex tape there”

~ Paris Hilton on Uukumbamabahalarata

People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata (PGRU) is a landlocked African nation with no natural resources, no usable farmland, and no means to support human life in any form. Its population relies entirely on Angelina Jolie for its survival.

History[edit]

Uukumbamabahalarata gained its independence from Lesotho in a bloody junta in April of 1898. The Republic's first leader, Lenny Imbomahuutuu, embezzled billions of dollars of U.N. relief money meant to help the impoverished nation, and wired it to secret accounts in Switzerland. This was an amazing feat, given that Imbomahuutuu was an illiterate weed farmer who's greatest exposure to technology had been a broken Etch-a-Sketch left in his village years earlier by some passing soldiers. Upon his second-in-command Jimba Okombwebwe's discovery of this, he and the other powerful political figures in Uukumbamabahalarata staged a revolution. The revolution began in May of 1998, and lasted three weeks. The revolution ended with the victory of Okombwebwe, who walked into the capitol with a handgun and demanded sovreignty. Imbomahuutuu appeased Okombwebwe with his family goat, three clay beads, and a Big Mac, in exchange for the right to remain president. As of now (2006) Uukumbamabahalarata is at war with the The Fiji-Iraq-Mali-Chad Four-Letter Alliance. Imbomahuutuu is suspected of having bought nuclear warheads on the Iranian black market (Iran refused to join the Four-Letter Alliance).

The People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata is a popular tourist attraction for many visiting celebrities, allowing them hands on access to the local flora and fauna.

War On Terror[edit]

In 2003, George Bush declared Uukumbamabahalarata of being a 'rogue state' and possessing WMDs. When it was pointed out to him that Uukumbamabahalarata was harmless and thought by many scientologists not to actually exist, he sozzledly stated 'they said that Persia doesn't exist any more, but that don't mean we can't BOMB THE CRAP OUT OF IT.'

As generally happens after Dubya decides he doesn't like something, it turned into a Muslim state and declared war on the West. Shite militias (not Shi'ite) have recently taken control of the more barren regions and Sunnies (happy people) have been forced indoors by a 10 am curfew. This has led many, including Australian Prime Munster John Howard to condemn Lenny Imbomahuutuu for allowing domestic affairs to get this bad. Imbomahuutuu responded in 2006 by boldly declaring, 'invade us we have oil'. However, recent findings have suggested that since Uukumbamabahalarata is comprised entirely of concrete, this allegation must be false.

Capitol Building of Uukumbamabahalarata.

Angelina Jolie's Discovery[edit]

In 1930 adventures of Angelina Jolie (which lasted 70 years), she discovered the People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata. It was a fledgling nation and was dying after the revolution of 1989. The people were hungry so Angelina Jolie gave them mind-controlling DVD Players that fed off of their meek starving bodies. The only movie it played was Lara Croft: Tomb Raider which destroyed the people's minds ending their hunger. Angelina Jolie keeps pressing the restart button which will keep the nation hungerless forever (why she didn't just set "repeat mode" we'll never know....)

Exports and Imports[edit]

Exports

  • Fly-attracting aftershave
  • Babies weighing less than one-third of a pound
  • DVD Players
  • AIDSs
  • Rocks
  • Rotten Pumpkins

Imports

  • Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
  • Disinfectant
  • HIV
  • Nuclear Weapons
  • Dirt

Fun Facts[edit]

  • Every 2 minutes a child in Uukumbamabahalarata has its eyes pecked out by vultures.
  • Unlike most of the African nations, Uukumbamabahalarata is composed of two ethnic groups that hate each other fiercely, as opposed to the 300 who like each other in others.
  • Uukumbamabahalarata's name originated from the failed original version of the Happy meal.
  • Under British Colonialism, Uukumbamabahalarata was known as "The British Royal Colony of Pichoria". The British were thrown out in 1955 and, unlike most of the African nations, Uukumbamabahalarata went to hell in a hand-basket in six months.
  • In 2001 Uukumbamabahalarata rejected plans by the African Union to introduce a universal African currency, known as the McDonalds coupon.
  • Due to the lack of need for food, Uukumbamabahalaratans are thought to be able to live forever. However, a high rate of HIV infections (85%) prevents this ever happening.

Famous Uukumbamabahalaratans[edit]