People who always want a room a little bit warmer than it should be

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[edit] People who always want a room a little bit warmer than it should be

Have plagued mankind since the invention warmth in the 1872. With recent insights in human genetics, scientists have been able to isolate the cause for 60% of the cases. Dubbed the "Whinybitch protein vector 5A" it is a gene part of the larger "Whinybitch" family which is abnormally present in Jews, the Irish, teenage girls and Old People. The remaining 40% is found in pre-menopausal women and hypothermia victims.

[edit] Symptoms and side-effects

In most cases, the symptoms will only affect the people surrounding those with the affliction. Consequently, complaining about the room temperature and social stigma are probably the only two symptoms immediately felt by the diseased. For those who have to put up with it, Symptoms include hyperthermia, desire to piss related to sudden temperature shift, putting up with constant bitching every time you follow afflicted anywhere outside his/her own house, and, in the most extreme cases, spontaneous human combustion.

[edit] Treatment

Pounding face against a brick wall, a popular remedy since the Middle Ages, is still being practiced by many people still today, usually by friends and family of the afflicted. Modern science has in recent years allowed the use of more precise techniques, including an electric collar tied to a thermostat. Newer, more unorthodox methods include rubbing down the victim with stinging nettles, forced incarceration with angry scorpions and beating the affliction out with a lump hammer. However given the stubborn nature off tose afflicted it is unlikely that they will be easily cured. Subsequently most of those methods used by those who must endure protracted company with the afflicted are invariably fatal.

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