People who spell sulphur and phosphorus with an F

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the ancient profets prophets profets

Join with me to take back the F (Not to be confused with "the F word")

As society progresses so does the way we speak. Class divides throughout society have brought to light the current state of our grammatical condition, and in particular the dipherences internationally in the way the English language is used. Considered by many Englishmen and Women to be the most coherent and ethnically diverse language in the world. And rightly so; the English language is composed of more phoreign dialects and tongues then any other on earth. These range phrom Saxon to Druidic to Latin. Why then is it constantly abused? Has the world truly lost its way?

Grammar[edit]

Grammatically, the English language is immensely diverse. Every child has struggled with their 'Whereas' and weres' in school, but this does not excuse the disgusting spelling that had emerged in English speaking language. Though we need to maintain a neutral international approach, England itself suphers no such drawbacks, as it maintains its disciplined application of the language. The lazy, contemporary methods bring shame to the phounding phathers.

the tainted contemporaries

The main culprit's in the this heresy are words containing, adjacently the letters P and H. Heretical, Satanical Prophets of the new dialect have seen phit to throw down the traditional ways and instead replace the letters with a solitary F! Truly troubling times we phind ourselves living in. Quite clearly incorrect, these subservient pollute the minds of our young and turn them to these new 'trendy' spellings.

Consequences[edit]

Every action has a reaction, and this case is no different. These purveyors of philth have been labelled as heretics and traitors and are now wanted criminals. Recently the NLA (National Language Association) and the NSPCA (National Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Adjectives) have merged there 'Traditional Spelling' Departments. Leading the phight against all 'profets' 'Prophets' of the new ways, they leave no rock unturned, no library unearthed in their quest for purity and sanity in these dark times.