Perfect woman

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As you can see Perfect women are very much looked up to.

“The latter word contradicts the former word, I'm afraid”

~ Oscar Wilde on the perfect woman

“A woman must be strong on plow.”

~ Borat on woman

The perfect woman is a woman who is perfect.

Since the year 130,000 B.C many have quested for the perfect woman; though some claim to have found her, these claims are often disputed by others; many have concluded that the perfect woman is mythological or extinct.

History[edit]

The first recorded stories of a perfect woman date from around 130,000 BC (That’s right it has existed far longer then you conjectured). The Earth is only 4.000,000,000 years old. Though in this early age, she is merely referred to as a mythological creature. There are no recorded sightings of a perfect woman. Over the years the concept begins to change into more of a legend, a creature of which only one single specimen exists. Though the idea of a woman may very well have started out as a fantasy, the common consensus amongst scientists is that she may very well exist or have existed, or even may still be to exist in the future.

Theories[edit]

Many philosophers have thought about what qualities the perfect woman must exhibit. Some argue that because every man has different wishes for a women, there cannot be a universally perfect woman. Other philosophers argue that the perfect woman is "flexible" enough to be able to meet the wishes of any man, how different these wishes may be. Yet another group of people believe that the characteristics the perfect woman should exhibit should be determined by the majorities wishes and the minority necrophilia should be discarded; many few this theory as discriminating.

Characteristics[edit]

Despite the various different ideas on the theory of the perfect woman, many people believe that a rough list of characteristics can be made. The following is a by-no-means-exhaustive list of possible qualities.

  • The perfect woman... must be very, very beautiful by most standards.
  • The perfect woman... must be taller then most men, including the tall ones. And then must be able to shrink perceptibly to that of a short woman for those men that desire soft and cute women should the situation arise.
  • The perfect woman... must have an eight inch waist.
  • The perfect woman... must have PERFECT legs that are long, skinny, silky and hair never.
  • The Perfect woman... must be able to wear heels on the regular bases, preferably heels that are over 6 inches in height, under 2 centimeters in diameter, and digging into my trachea.
  • The perfect woman... must be smart, but pretend to be dumb and not notice what you're doing there.
  • The perfect woman... must have long hair that regally blows in the wind.
  • The perfect woman... must be really done up on the daily bases.
  • The perfect woman... must be physically and socially between 18 and 30 years old, like forever.
  • The perfect woman... must have a vagina and two X chromosome.
  • The perfect woman... must seem to be careless when she sees males in trouble and show at least some sign of sadism.
  • The perfect woman... must seem to be caring when she sees males in trouble and show at least some sign of compassion.
  • The perfect woman... must have a voice that is seductive and hypnotic as Cortana/Jennifer Taylor's from Halo.
  • The perfect woman... must enjoy sex at least as much as her significant other.
  • The perfect woman... must be willing to engage in sexual activity with other women.
  • The perfect woman... must never have a period, preferably because of a hysterectomy.
  • The perfect woman... must be able to cook well.
  • The perfect woman... must have a sense of humor.
  • The perfect woman... must be able to carry me gingerly around in a sack.
  • The perfect woman... must have impossibly large boobs
  • The perfect woman... must be silent and still eye candy.
  • The perfect woman... must be able to wear diapers when the, very very very VERY rare period occurs.

Candidates[edit]

The following list is again by no means exhaustive. (Please add as you see fit.) Also note that many of the women on this list are imaginary.

  • Satan
  • Chuck Norris - Duh
  • JP Losman - Plays like a woman on the Buffalo Bills
  • Rex Grossman - Chicago Bears Quarterback, plays like a sissy. No tits, but whatever
  • Kim Kardashian - Huge ass and Huge tits, super sexy, even hotter than Carmen Electra
  • Carmen Electra - Most wanked-over woman in the history of the universe. De facto holder of the title, even though it has never been awarded.
  • Keeley Hazell - By far the sexiest thing on this planet. She's not afraid to expose herself or her massive tits and she sucks like a vacuum. MORE KEELEY!
  • Emilie de Ravin - sex angel, high priestess of blowjobs and sexy legs ambassador
  • Motoko Kusanagi
  • Alizée - French pop star, part angel and part nymphet, she is what all other women wish they were.
  • Caitrin - Exotic and unbelievably adorable; God made her specially, she's part dreamchild and part nymph. One of the last American Unspoiled Virgins, is in some video on the internet where she lip syncs a foreign song. Rumor has it she's only 15. Her cherry pie is the freshest. She's almost 16 but she tastes like she's barely eleven
  • Kylie Minogue - Hotter than her american counterpart makes you goes SHWINNNNG even with her recent disease, and her Aussie accent, cause God thought to make a less perfect woman.
  • Keira Knightley - Proud member of the I can't Act But I'm English and Hot Club. NO TITS, BUT FUCKING HOT.
  • Jenya D aka Katie Fey - God's best work to date. shes a fuckin stunner like
  • Jessica Simpson - God's second best work at the moment
  • Jessica Barton - ohh fuck yes!
  • Elisha Cuthbert - She was created by God in 61 AD as the perfect woman, after his discontent with Eve, Virgin Mary, and Tinkerbell. God has never affirmed or denied that he indeed created the perfect woman. This was, of course, before he created Jenya D., the most perfect woman in existence. Elisha Cuthbert starred in a movie in which she starred as a porn star. No nudity, but the very idea of it was good.
  • Naomi Watts - Technically a nymphomaniac goddess, so may be above this silly competition.
  • Kate Beckinsale - Prototype for the perfect woman before God's invention of Elisha Cuthbert. Accidentaly employed a British accent on her.
  • Kari Byron - Hot, fun, incredibly intelligent, great personality with the right amount of geekiness ... Vegetarian? ... Oooh so close!
  • Dennis Kucinich's wife - Very hot, but walks amongst us. A pretend vegan, she has been sent by the Gods to the shores of America.
  • Cathryn Lovett - Too good for you. Facebook her.
  • Jam Kuradoberri - Though she is a fictional character, she is often thought to be a good example of what the perfect woman might be like.
  • Rachel McAdams - The Canadian hottie has top marks and, well, she's Canadian, so she's gotta be hot!!
  • Sophia - Although technically not a woman but a deity, she was the first feminine creature and is by some regarded as the best and the most beautiful feminine creature of all times and therefore also a contender for the title of perfect woman.
  • Anti-Sophia - Some argue that if Sophia is considered, the spiritual concept of Anti-Sophia should also be considered. This is not a very popular view.
  • Marilyn Monroe - She is also sometimes considered as there is not a man on this planet who does not find her sexy. Opponents, however, deduct from the fact that Arthur Miller cheated on her, that she could not possibly be perfect.
  • Megan Fox - With an average temperature of 5777 Kelvin (5504°C; 9939.2°F), she is literally the hottest woman alive. Unfortunately, it is for this very reason that Fox is accepted as being only 99.7% perfect.
  • Haruhi Suzumiya (character) - An eccentric bossy and sadistic beauty, what more could you ask for?
  • Some French chick - Because so many men (even ugly ones) have had such easy access to her and she is so easy to dispose of afterwards, Some French chick is also considered to be the perfect woman.
  • The Girl Next Door - Many beautiful celebrities have been compared to her.
  • Tifa Lockhart - Tifa may be fictional character from Final Fantasy (notice the word "fantasy") but she does fill all the requirements to be the perfect woman. She is beautiful, she enjoys the sport of chocobo racing, she can cook well and she likes and supplies beer (because she works in the bar 7th Heaven).
  • Jessica Alba - Jessica has been hot since the days on the reality TV show 'The Secret World of Alex Mack'. She could kick just about any guys ass but still looks amazing in a bikini. Just ask your friend from the last time he was hiding in the bushes staring. She looks perfect in any hair color and looks great even in granny panties during the GQ photoshoot.
  • Belldandy - Even though she gets drunk on soda instead of beer and dates a colorless tech-school loser who hasn't even kissed her after nearly 2 years of romance.
  • Cecília Lindgren - She knows when romanticism begins and ends, can use Google very well and has just got a beautiful haircut. What can I say?
  • Jenna Jameson - We've all seen her fuck and instantly ejaculated
  • The Blonde One - Come on! She's Swedish! What more reason do we need to include her?
  • Scarlett Johansson - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
  • Fu Manchu's Daughter - as portrayed by Myrna Loy - She spanks other women!
  • Fu Manchu's Other Daughter - as portrayed by Tsai Chin - She gives very best duck!
  • Janet Reno- Wait... no... that is a dude. My bad.
  • Kelly Brook - Best of British - I mean come on, how much hotter can you get without melting everyone in the room?
  • Lucy Liu - Dunno just think i have a thing for chinese women, oh and she kicks ass
  • My girlfriend - Relative unknown, but worshipped by every male who ever sets eyes on her, whether they realise this or not.
  • Lauren Caitlin Upton Miss Teen South Carolina 2007- Hot and stupid. It's like some kind of magical dream.
  • Pam Beesly- If you don't like her, you're gay. Unless you're just into the dark meat - in which case fuck you, cause no one's hotter than Pam, no matter how fine her booty is.
  • Angelina Jolie - holy s**t, nuff said
  • Celina Jaitley - she has the dream body indians fuck everyday, in their wet dreams though.
  • Samus Aran is fictional but kicks major ass and super hot in a bikini!☺
  • Beyonce Knowles - She's Beyonce Knowles.
  • Victoria Coffey - the most amazing girl in the world, period.
  • Tricia Helfer - do I have to explain.
  • Marilyn Manson - Ain't no hollaback girl!
  • Lara Croft - Who wouldn't tap that?
  • Emma Watson - Exceptionally hot, British chick.
  • Ziyi Zhang - Chinese goddess of the cinema.
  • Diora Baird - She is one hot sexy bitch!!
  • Perfect woman - Damn, so fine and perfect for everyone!
  • Re-l Mayer - From Ergo Proxy, sexy, cute and a ruthless defender, fine by me.
  • Samus Aran, she is blonde, slender, fast, rude and taller then me, which is kind of empowering.
  • Ginger Girl - See the final three below to know why.
  • Jessica Rabbit - You F&*king know it!
  • Ariel - She is, particularly if you where born in the 80s, the Beauty you grew up with.
  • Kim Possible (character) - Why not, she is a looker, popular Girl, girl next door and an antinationalist?
  • Ganguros - Excessive amounts of makeup and orange skin.