Pete Townshend

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“Fuck this overrated mother fucking motherfucker who is overrated and fucks mothers.”

~ Ritchie Blackmore on Pete Townshend

“Like I mean seriously, he stole that whole smashing the guitar bit from me!”

~ Richie Blackmore on The above quote

“At least I don't play mandolin like some pussy ass "rock stars".”

~ Pete Townshend on Richie Blackmore

“This is a FUCKING ROCK n' ROLL CONCERT, not a FUCKING tea party!!!”

~ Pete Townshend on fans during the 1970s

“This is upper-crust 'Tea & Theatre' not a tawdry rock 'n roll circus.!!!”

~ Pete Townshend on The Who's 2006 album “Endless Wire”

“Get off! Get off my fucking stage!”

~ Pete Townshend on his stage

“Get off! Get off my fucking stage! This isn't a bleedin' folk concert”

~ Pete Townshend on Gordon Lightfoot's 1978 album “Endless Wire”

“Well, I don't want to make another album with the Who. I think it would be sad really.”

~ Pete Townshend on The Who in a 1989 Interview

“His town has a shend”

~ Captain Obvious on Pete Townshend

“Ah yes, the Great Destroyer”

~ Guitars on Pete Townshend
Pedro beginning his famous Spanish stripper dance.

Pete Townshend (pronounced "Town-Shend"), born May 19th 1945, as Pedro Plato Dennisio Blandoforio Puebloendviar is a guitarist from Spain specializing in a genre of spanish hip hop, or reggaeton. He is most famous for his work as the lead guitarist of the group Los Quienes.

He is made famous for his arm swinging action used whilst playing the guitar. This is used to symbolise the act of launching a discus, reflecting his ancient Greek relations.

Los Quienes[edit]

Whilst working with Los Quienes, Pedro Ciudadshend Cityshend Villageshend [and various other last names] wrote many hits including No Puedo Explicar, Quienes Eres Tu, Autobus Majico, Yo Puedo Ver Para Millas, Trato, Los Ninos estan Bien and Senor O'Riley.

Peculiarities[edit]

An alternate expression of Pedro's spasms is represented by smashing his guitars, which punk/grunge/indie/whatever fans have called the "hope I die before I get old" syndrome.
  • Pedro has suffered from uncontrollable epileptic spasms since 1967. Trying to conceal these attacks, he started compensating for said convulsions by excessively making his right arm go round in circles while playing his guitar. Fans of Pedro claim this to be his "peculiarity #1" and NOT a dysfunction. He claims that it was provoked by bowling.[1]
  • Pedro became deaf, dumb and blind after encountering The Beast.
  • Pedro likes crackers.
  • Pedro thinks his nose is huge and has hypnotized the world at large into thinking so as well, hiding the fact the he actually doesn't have one. Even pictures can't tell.
  • Pedro wrote the song "Elephant's Trunk" to celebrate his nose.
  • His enormous beak gives Townshend the ability to smell odours up to a range similar to that of dogs.
  • Actually, he himself has a rather bad smell!

Controversies[edit]

Pete suffered a slight dip in popularity in the late 90s after it emerged that he had been starring in apocalyptic incestuous kiddie porn snuff films directed by John Woo for the past 200 years, a naughty habit that he initially claimed was done "as research." After the press saw through this flimsy excuse, Pete admitted that he had really needed the publicity and was sentenced to 25 hours of community service. It was later discovered that the man starring in these films was actually that other large-nosed musician. Commenting on the incident in 2005, Pete expressed his disappointment towards the various good people who had wrongly accused him, insisting that he was not a pedophile, but queen of the fucking universe.

Tomas[edit]

Pedro is well known for his rock opera Tomas which includes the following songs,

  • Proposicion
  • Ayer un Muchacho
  • 1921é
  • Viaje de Asombroso
  • Sparkas
  • Vista para Los Ciegos
  • Navidad
  • Primo Kevin
  • La Reina de Acido
  • Antisicion
  • Tu Pences Este Ok
  • Mago de "Pinball"
  • Ayer un Medico
  • Vas a el Espejo
  • Tomas, Tu Puedas Oirme
  • Rotura el Espejo
  • Sensacion
  • Cura de Milagro
  • Senorita Simpson
  • Yo Estoy Libre
  • Bienvenida
  • Campos de Vacaciones
  • Nosotros No Tomaria Ya
  • Quiénes son usted?
  • El Mago del Billar Automático
  • Veamos la Acción
  • Véame, Siéntame, Toqúeme, Cúreme!
  • Talkiére de mi Generación
  • Esto no es un Partido Fuckindé del Téa!

About half of these songs are great, and the other half are great, when stoned.

The Internet[edit]

Pete/Pedro was the inventor of the internet, (Haven't you heard the song relay?) it was originally to be called "The Townshend" but "town" was considered to sound too small scale.

Quotes On Pedro[edit]

“I did not MURDER him!!!”

~ I, Robot on Pete Townshend

“He's a boooooy, he's a boooy! ...”

~ Roger Daltrey on Pedro Villageshend

“A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose, and roses are red, it's only Teenage Wasteland!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pedro