Peter Ebdon

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Death as Ebdon and Taylor saw him.

Peter Tupac Ebdon (1958-) was born in the town of Long Eaton. His fascist father, Heinrich Himmler was desperate for a son, which his wife Chris Tarrant (due to gameshow commitments) could not provide. The young Himmler feeling cheated sought a segregate mother to spawn a son, luckily when on a teddy bear gassing holiday Himmler encountered Louden Wainwright III who vowed he would provide Himmler a son or die. On Bastard Day the 6th of March 1958(a) Peter Tupac Ebdon was born.

Early Sluggish Fascism[edit]

Ebdon was born with fascism in his blood and he wasted no time in pursuing his autocratic goals. At the age of 10 he had learnt all he needed to know about sexual frustration, fascism and wearing blood red clothes from the current Pope. As he reached his twenties, slugs and tortoises became his life, he would spend hours with these poor animals, poking them with sticks and rapping "wak ass lyrics" upon their shiny bodies. Ebdon's other connections to the world of unsavoury totalitarianism include a brief stint as the BNP's head groundsman and his role as lead singer for the KKK house band Charles and Eddie.

Beginings of the Long Snooker Career[edit]

His love for sticks and rappers brought him first to the martial rap of Kalispeil. Ebdon and fellow Kalispeilorites would prowl through zoos picking on the slowest of animals, poking and rapping at them. Unfortunately Dennis Taylor was being stored at London Zoo at the time and upset by the constant poking and ear bashing, smashed the Kalispeil into a thousand pieces. When Dennis came to the fatality, only Ebdon remainded alive saved by Death, Dennis saw this as a sign from the snooker satan "Jim Davidson" and puked Ebdon into the Snooker World Championship.

World Champion Ebdon[edit]

Ebdon would only play each shot in the World Championship with the blessing of Hitler causing the slowest world championship in history. O'Sullivan Dead, Higgins Dead, Taylor Dead, this article Dead.