Petey Piranha

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~ Q Kue Q on Petey Piranha

“This creature is a Piranha Plant with legs and wings.”

“Really? I don't see it.”

Petey Piranha is a giant Piranha Plant that has polka-dotted briefs and leafs for arms. He uses them to fly, cook, and create Wind Blasts that Mario can avoid by standing still. He is somehow friends with King Boo, the ruler of all Boos. This is because they did a cookery show together. However, this friendship bittered somewhat during the events of New Super Mario Bros..

For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Petey Piranha.

Early Life[edit]

He was born in the warm summer of '02 after Super Smash Bros. Cast beat Crazy Hand. Crazy Hand weakened from this limped over to a baby piranha seed which he puked on before getting arrested. Soon after Petey was born and started chaos by puking all over things. He then raised the money from his suprisingly tasty goop and sold it to the Piantas from Super Mario Sunshine in exchange for a house on top of a windmill. However, when the Piantas found out that Piranha Plants crap and vomit from the same hole, they went apeshit, enlisiting Mario's help to clean off the sticky muck.

Petey Piranha showing off This season's line of Polka-Dotted Briefs and/or his secret new weapon, the Piranha Baby Maker


Crazy Hand is Petey's father and mother. Petey never grew up knowing his parents until Crazy Hand was let out of an Asylum and they crossed pathes at a puking contest where Petey would have lost if Crazy Hand was fed anything before the contest. Petey is a living wonder in the fact that he is 100,000,000,000 times better than his parents, not even an achievement Chuck Norris could get.


Being son of a super natural creature Petey has multiple powers and it seems he gets a new one every time he appears. None of these are related to being a giant enemy plant. It is widely believed that Chuck Norris and Captain Falcon taught him the powers of God. Hell, look at the damn thing.

  • Flight
  • Puking
  • Dancing(He calls it the Petey)
  • Death Tornadoes
  • A hidden Death Ray (He won't say where)
  • Cannonballing
  • Singing
  • Prank Calls
  • Being God of Plant life

The Piranha Mafia[edit]

Waluigi standing as second in command getting ready to rob a bank

Soon after he started his business he gathered with his childhood friends and started a gang. The gang was instantly feared on the eastside after the Brooklyn Disaster of '04 where they left no man alive.

He states "This was only the beginning".

Waluigi is currently second in command.

Right now he and the Queen's Ghoul's are allied to take down any plumbers and janitors in the area.

People and Things He Likes[edit]

People and Things He Hates[edit]

Petey, seen here being confronted by Mario on top of his house.

Petey For President[edit]

He wants a better america one where he will find weapons of mass destruction. Although he wants to find them it will require him being King. He is currently the top 2008 Presidential nominee for the Green Party.

Things Petey Has Done in his Life[edit]

  • Your Mom
  • Singing
  • Dancing
  • Racing
  • Acting
  • Regional Yo' Momma Championship
  • Teaching
  • Ruling a Kingdom
  • throwing up
  • Became a 1337 ub3r H4XX0R
  • Killed the dinosaurs
  • Constructed the hanging gardens of Babylon
  • Giving birth to Zetsu


Being the lead star in the hit childrens show Lazy Town, he has been branded an international pedophile. If he were to be caught, he'd rape 984574658746875865489675489675468896 children; the y representing multiplication. This does not stop him from being awesome, however. Children want to be raped by him.

Dating Life[edit]

Petey has often been rejected by women for having an abnormally large arse, but he has been romatically linked to Ellen Degeneres. He tried to rape Zelda and Peach, but Kirby somehow killed his ass. Obviously he was regenerated 666 minutes later, then proceded to eat, shit out, then eat Kirby again.

See Also[edit]

Protagonists MarioPrincess PeachToad
Russia mario.jpg
Antagonists Donkey KongGoombaWario
Luigis Gay LuigiMama Luigi (Luigi's sojournMagic balloon)Weegee
Locations Mushroom KingdomAnother Castle®Yoshi's Park
Games Mario PartySuper Mario BrothersSuper Mario World
Whatnot Getting pushed into bananas (Mario Kart)Magic mushroomMariologyRaccoon Tail v. Super Mario CapeThe Mushroom Kingdom (band)