Pez

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Publicity still from the motion picture Pez Miserables.

Pez was first described in 1750 by Charles Darwin who called it the forbidden fruit of Barbados. In 1789, Patrick Browne reported it as growing in most parts of Jamaica and he referred to it as "forbidden fruit" or "smaller shaddock". Most Pez consumed in the United States is imported from Chad, the world's leading producer. Unfortunatley, Chad doesn't like to share because he's an ignorant stoner, so only his buddies Tim and Mike of the Red Sox get to eat Pez anymore.

Pez is consumed primarily by people who get giddy at the taste of chalk. Most people buy Pez for the dispenser, which tastes slightly better.

Pez is often snorted through the anus as a carcinogen, as using it this way has an effect similar to kitten huffing. Small creatures are known to be incessintly amused by this action and it has been theorized that the ancient kitten snorted enough pez through his anus to pass on a halucenagenic effect to anyone who consumed his soul, a trait that seems to have passed down to modern-day kittens.

In recent times, Pez has been noted as being the one true catalyst of the Internet. Nearly every major web site was created by Pez addicts and recreational users in order to sell, trade, discuss or show off their Pez stashes. Most notably was its role in the creation of eBay, but it was also the basis for sites such as, but not limited to, Google, Yahoo!, MySpace, Facebook, The Drudge Report, YouTube, Napster, BitTorrent, E*Trade and Pogo. Pez-related traffic makes up more than 100% of all traffic on the internet, and nearly 88% of all web-based commerce is Pez-related.

Other uses of "Pez"[edit]

Pez is also a very rare name used by only really cool people...

If you replace the "z" in Pez with "nis" you get "Penis"

See Also[edit]

Want to read an interesting story? $PEZ$ How I Made 4.5 Million Dollars Selling Pez $PEZ$ Check out Item number: 300341029563 on ebay.


Big Candy
Peddlers
Chester CheetahBen & Jerry'sReese WitherspoonLaura SecordHersheys
Confections
Reese's Peanut Butter CupAirplane peanutsBon-bonsBubble gumCheetosChips
Jelly beans * Popcorn * Skittles * Pez
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