Phil Simms

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“He took my quarterback job in the Pro Bowl one year, and now I want revenge!”

~ Joe Montana on Phil Simms

“I think I created a monster, before I "retired" and headed to New England with some of his former teammates.”

~ Bill Parcells on Phil Simms

“I want revenge against him for being a better broadcaster than I am. Oh wait, what is revenge?”

~ Joe Buck, his archrival on Phil Simms
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia think they have an article about Phil Simms.

Phil Simms, born November 3, 1955 is the only quarterback who spent his entire NFL career with the New York Giants, from 1979 until 1994. The only accomplishment he didn't do is sell out like Eli Manning, his enemy. But in some time before his "retirement," he decided to play secretly for the New York Mets without notifying Bill Parcells, thus causing an uproar from 1992 to 1994 that eventually had Bo Jackson retiring from Pro League Baseball, David Meggett and his teammates to leave for New England.

CBS days[edit]

Sometime after his retirement, Phil Simms decided to join CBS in 1994 to join his plot of World domination, and so far it hasn't succeeded - yet. Some say he wants revenge on the Mannings, some say that he plays too much World of Warcraft. But nobody knows or cares. He now spends his days at CBS, calling games for money and is the lead play-by-play person for CBS football, along with minion Jim Nantz.


Why does this section deserve a mention? He criticized you for not being an NFL player. That's right, you, the person who's reading this article. Lawrence Taylor claimed this was an accident and you know it. He also allowed the Philadelphia Eagles to evolve into a predatory species, before Terrell Owens ran the Eagles down into the bottom of the food chain.

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