Phoenix Coyotes
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The Phoenix Coyotes are a team of bankruptcy lawyers working for the National Hockey League. Their goal is to organize a hockey team in Phoenix as bankruptly as possible.
[edit] History
The Phoenix Coyotes were created in 1542 by the British Parliament by the passage of the first Bankruptcy Act. Article 2 read as follows:
"Art. 2 And verily shalt there be a teeme, knowne throughout the Lande as The Phoenicks Coyoateas, who shalt at all tymes and in every Waye play iced Hoakey in an uttermost mediocre and Bank-rupt manner."
It was only when the city of Phoenix was founded in 1881 that this part of the Bankruptcy Act could be applied. However, as ice hockey was in its infancy and there was no artificial ice in Phoenix at that time, the Coyotes existed back then only as a piece of paper with the word "Bankrupt" written on it. In those Wild West days, the Phoenix Coyotes were often lost at the gambling table or stolen by cattle rustlers. The county sheriff would then deputize bankruptcy trustees to go out and recover the team. Famous owners of the Coyotes at that time were Billy "Bankrupt" McGee, John "Bankrupt" Malone and Navajo chief Files-Bankruptcy-Frequently.
When the Phoenix Coyotes joined the NHL in 1996, the league Commissioner predicted that the team would be stable and operate with a profit. For this, the Commissioner won the Emmy for Best Actor in a Comedy Series.
[edit] Players
Famous Phoenix Coyotes players include:
- Joel Greenberg, bankruptcy attorney from Goldwyn McKay Henderson
- Mark Reese, bankruptcy trustee for Morris & Klein, Chartered Accountants
- "Thumbs", collection agent
| National Hockey League | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Leastern Conference | Worstern Conference | ||||
| Atlantic | Northeast | Southeast | Central | Northwest | Pacific |
| New Jersey Devils | Boston Bruins | Atlanta Thrashers | Chicago Blackhawks | Calgary Flames | Anaheim Ducks |
| New York Islanders | Buffalo Sabres | Carolina Hurricanes | Columbus Blue Jackets | Colorado Avalanche | Dallas Stars |
| New York Rangers | Montreal Canadiens | Florida Panthers | Detroit Red Wings | Edmonton Oilers | Los Angeles Kings |
| Philadelphia Flyers | Ottawa Senators | Tampa Bay Lightning | Nashville Predators | Minnesota Wild | Phoenix Coyotes |
| Pittsburgh Penguins | Toronto Maple Leafs | Washington Capitals | St. Louis Blues | Vancouver Canucks | San Jose Sharks |
| Seasons (structure) · Stanley Cup (Playoffs–Finals–Champions) · Presidents' Trophy · All-Star Game · Draft · Players (Association) · All-Star Teams · Awards | |||||
| History · Timeline · Defunct teams · NHA · Original Six · 1967 Expansion · WHA · Streaks · Droughts · Hall of Fame (members) · Rivalries · Arenas · Rules · Violence | |||||
| Category | |||||