Phosphorus

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

A Phosphor, more commonly the plural Phosphorus (as they are seldom seen not within a group, much like fungus) is a person devoted to studying and producing results in phosphorusophy. The word, "Phosphor," literally means "lover of men."

Phosphorus:The Legend[edit]

Legend has it that phosphorus frequently cast spells on frogs that make them fly into the midnight sky and fall down as cheese or onion segments. Phosphorus usually gather around small campfires at 11:32 AM and can be seen practicing their wondrous art.

Avoiding Phosphorus[edit]

405 out of 521 experts agree that the only way to evade a phosphor is by running, jumping, spinning, and embarking on a magical quest to free the phosphorus arch-enemy, Surohpsohp. If a phosphor catches you, however, you can usually find a maple-leaf shaped birthmark that is very sensitive. Tickling feverishly may or may not cause him to run away. Suck his pen0r!

Becoming A Phosphor[edit]

There are many steps to becoming a phosphor.

1.Follow your heart

Just kidding, the first step(we'll call it step 2 because we can) is...

2.You'll have to find a maple-leaf shaped birthmark. You can usually find it on your body. Whatever you do, do not tickle it feverishly! If you cannot find one, just go down to your local rancher and he can brand one on you. (This may be painful for a few days, but just remember the rewards of being a phosphor and you can get through it.)