The History of the Pie Floater
Pie Floaters were invented by pure accident. The stories differ and their are a few variations. The common factor is that regardless of their creation it was created by accident.
1. The Old man and his pie
The story goes that an old man was walking on the streets of Adelaide , although God knows why because, and take it from me I am from that hellish place, because NOTHING BLOODY HAPPENS. Sorry about that, where was I? Oh yes, the man was walking through the city with his meat pie. Anyway on Light Square (you have no idea where that is do you?) there was a pea soup vendor, serving his soup, like any normal person would who was a pea soup vendor, when this clumsy guy decided to trip and his meat pie landed in a bowl of soup. The old man was forced to buy the pea soup now that his pie was in it. He paid 5/-d. for it, for remember this was in 1921. So the old man was to eat this odd pie-soup hybrid who found that to his tastes he liked it and decided to sell it. Thus this old coot created the pie floater.
2.The Day it Rained Pies
This was an odd event. The Peabody Pea Soup Factory once contained open vats of pea soup on Halifax St. right next to the refuse distructor while it was still operating in 1912. But once again you have no clue as to where I am talking about but I don't care. Anyway the Villies factory (the people who make pies) was further up the road near Hutt St. Some careless person decided to close the safety valves for the steam oven and caused the factory to blow up. Meat pies rained down upon the citizens of Adelaide, killing 2, scaring others and landing in the open vats of the pea soup factory. The soup was ruined. ₤50 000 of soup was ruined while only ₤10 000 worth of pies were ruined. Yes it shows you which foodstuff was preferred. As punishment the guy who caused the accident was forced to eat the first pie floater. Strangely he found it somewhat good (British people...) and soon everyone was eating it.
How are they produced?
Pie Floaters are a mixture of meat pie and pea soup. The pies are taught to swim, to help their absorbancy and then they are dunked into the soup. It is then
sold at exorbant prices at the Pie Cart outside the Casino sold at some place because the Casino bought the pie cart and then said that they would replace it with a permanent stand but they didn't and for what? So the bar could see out into the awfully boring streets through windows that nobody would look out of sold at exorbant prices at the Pie Cart outside the Casino which was probably returned because enough people complained sold at some place because the Casino finally lied and decided that letting people see trams was far better then letting someone get food at 1 in the morning. Anyway long story short pie floaters are now even rarer to find. I think there is a place up near Gumeracha (another place you will not bother finding) that sells them but I am not so sure.
According to some "credible" (read: wikipedia) sources the source of the pea soup is the vomit of the homeless. Although this is not proven it must be noted that the Salvation Army soup kitchens HAVE been serving a large amount of peas and soup at the moment.
Another problem is that it is believed that some of the meat is produced from the bodies of the homeless after they have been drained of the valuable pea soup. Again this is just speculation as many people disappear in strange circumstances in Adelaide...
- The largest demographic of Pie Floater eaters is the drunk, middle aged man who wears a blue singlet. This person will hum the DC/AC "song" It's A Long Way To The Shop If You Want A Sausage Roll.
- NOTE DC/AC is an AC/DC parody coverband.
- Pies are usually sold at about 3:30 am
- Teaching the pies how to swim is a course at the University of Adelaide, it has a TER of 0.00 meaning anyone can get in, however it is the most expensive course to take.
- Hoboes can only be farmed in America
- This is considered a food.
- Terry Pratchett featured Pie Floaters extensively in his book The Last Continent. It would also appear that the main character in that book invented Vegemite, or 'salty beer soup', and that Australia has no snakes because the spiders eat them. This is a lie, because everybody knows Australian snakes have all evolved to be able to eat the spiders. See: Godzilla