Pikachu (Ash)

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See! Ash and Misty aren't the only ones capable of poke-rape!

“Pikachu”

~ Pikachu on Pikachu

Ash's Pikachu (May 5 1995) is different than all other pokemon in the entire Goldfish Bowl. Pikachu is wildly popular with people in general, (the only more popular pokemon is Charmillionaire) and has caused people to think that the particular species of Pokemon, Pikachu, is actually good. It isn't. They suck at everything. Ash's Pikachu has a few different traits than the others, although it ironically, and confusingly, is named Pyckachew.

Ash's pikachu is easily identified when it enters Super Sayan form.

One of this particular Pikachu's more easily identifiable differences with any other, is the fact that it can withstand any and all attacks thrown at it and can defeat any other pokemon with ease despite its level, or resistance to electric attacks. Grues at one point attempted to warp into the Pokemon universe to eat this particular Pikachu but, sadly, were unable to do so.

What IS Pikachu?[edit]

A mouse. A mouse that can shoot electricity from its face, and despite being at least level over 9000 in the series STILL manages to lose every so often.

The Birthright of Ashachu...[edit]

Jump into my.. ARRRR- RRRRSE! OH NO!

Due to this event, Ash and Pikachu had become more than just friends... Furfags around the world are starting to realize that pokemon are just like us. Not long ago in a freaken forest, the two got separated from eachother. Not recalling the warning from Professor Oak about fucking pokemon, Ash and Pikachu finally found each other and were very happy... No, I mean HAPPY... as in you know... ugh... anyways, pikachu eventually was anal vore by Ash. After they have fused together into one, ash had digested that little rodent. Later that night ash began to transform into what you see right now. So remember kids, fuck pokemon and they will fuck your life... plain and simple! Easiest way to get fucked up!

Biography[edit]

Just Another example of Pikachu taking advantage of people when they are drunk. Beware you may be next....OH NOES

Nothing was known about this Pikachu before the hit reality show Pokemon It was captured just before the show started, and given to Ash as a gag. After all, Pikachu suck at fighting. Everyone wanted to see a show about a whiny gay kid getting his butt whooped. However, this Pikachu was overpowered.

Pikachu performing the infamous Numa Numa dance with two of his bitches.

Pikachu Gets Chosen[edit]

Apparently, God was bored, and began to make bets with Satan. Satan ended up winning one of these bets, and was granted the ability to go to earth for one day. He ended up appearing right bellow Pikachu, and after kicking his ass, convinced Pikachu to sell his sole in exchange for great power. Pikachu accepted.How could he... Or she!? He or shegot hella awesome powers, and was able to defy the rules set by the gameboy game, zap anything, even ground type cheese! (A technique that had previously been mastered only by Chuck Norris) Therefore, Pikachu's rise to fame is not because of acting, but because of Satan....and God. After all, how else could Pokemon have become so popular?

Acting career[edit]

Yet another thing I didn't need to see. What is Pikachu doing to May's head!?! This is another example of Pikachu's seductive sexual urges. Beware don't be the next prey.

Pokemon is currently in season 10. Go ahead, count 'em. Pikachu has been in literally every episode and movie. It is extremely hot, and everybody loves it. In almost every episode, it defeats an unbeatable foe, creating a deus ex machina at the end of virtually all episodes. Convenient, eh?

In recent news, Pikachu has been offered the lead role in John Woo's remake of Hard Boiled . In this role, Pikachu gets to shoot 5 million bullets from two pistols before reloading and can defy the laws of gravity and decency. It is been rated "R" for "Really stupid, but your dumbass kids will want to watch the fucking thing anyway, so you might as well get it over with".

Pikachu is known to attract many girls, such as Buneary, Pachirisu, and Clefairy. Here, a Buneary has many love sexual interests with Pikachu. I wonder what she is thinking about right now.

Kidnapping[edit]

On June 12 2008 during season 10, in the shooting, Pikachu gots kidnapped by Hezbollah, an insane muslim. (And there was much rejoicing) More on this trauma is on this page! When Japan refused to pay the ransom money (they weren't really bothered in the first place) they posted a video of Pikachu being tourchered on YouTube. It has been withdrawn for fear of major joy, and a possibility that it can cause seizures. Sadly enough, the kidnappers died from what appears to have been suicide by swimming with a toaster. Pikachu is free, but the men who gave their lifes will be remembered as great heros.

STRAWBERRY!!!!

Role on the Media[edit]

Ashachu:"This is what happens when me and pikachu had the aftermath sex....."

Everyone knows that pikachu's journalism career tanked early on because there was already far too many reporters who were dissolved pieces of shit trying to shock you all the time. Everyone knows who Pikachu is. Everyone knows tons of stuff about this horrible creature, although most people deny it. Pikachu is the role model for all reality shows. Everyone wants their reality show to be as good as this crappy yellow rat's.

See also[edit]