Pimp

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Were you looking for Pimpin', chimp, or climp, or perhaps even wimp?

Cruella DeVil, the world's first female pimp.

“Oh Yeah. I remember the good old times of pimping when a pimp could still cash bitches legally..”

~ Oscar Wilde on pimping

Since the beginning of time (1230), the Pimp has been an important character in western Literature, appearing in childs books and even adult novels (See Clifford the Big Red Dog and The Cat in the Hat). Classic examples of Pimps in literature include: The Bible, The Koran, The Pimp of Florencia, and No Holds Barred (50 Cent's book). Examples of Pimps in film include: "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and the rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland".

[edit] Creation of Pimp and The Pimp of Florencia

Louis XVI the Megapimp. France in its entirety was his bitch and his pimp hand was way strong.

The Pimp is a classic fictional character and literary archetype, created by William Shakespeare, Muhammad Ali, and George Bush. in 1230. Shakespeare names his character "Pimpolius", that can be translated as "the guardian of the flowers". In Act I, scene VI, Pimpolius has a fight with the other pimp, Mackonio Daddius "Sir Pimphouse" Jizzous. In the fight, both take out they're Pimp Canes and start to fight like with swords. Then Mackonio slashes off Pimpolius's hand and throws his Pimp Cane into Mackonio's Mighty Brothel Of Death. It disintegrates. Mackonio then almost finishes Pimpolius off, before Pimpolius says the almighty words:

Faketh thissius, Izzle gizzle Cheatius. Thou understizzle?

During Act III, scene IV, Pimpolius is stabbed by one of the maidens he has been ordered to protect, and steals his wallet. On dying, he claims his well known speech:

Oh, thou that hast hurt me

Oh, thou muddafacka bitch,

Thou, ho !

I cutteth ya face when I getteth up..

Nay shall thou maketh me shove thy rapier upside thine ass.

And he dies.

Pimpolius is buried with all his ceremonial clothes, and those include his cane, his fur coat, his high heeled shoes, his feathered hat and his cookies. A sad disco tune plays during the funeral scene, and all the ho's bring the muddafacka to da grave.

[edit] The Study of Pimpology

Oscar the Pimp struts his stuff, but he still gave props to Frank Oz, the Muppet-Master Pimp.

Pimpology as itself is a broad study. The study of Pimpology covers many facets including "Pimp Canery", "Pimp Hattery", and "smackin dem hoz down".

The study of pimpiology is primarily centered in "da Vatican Hood", As it is home to God's, Right Hand man (The Pope).

The best way to start your studying of pimpology is to obtain a scholarship with the University of Hoe Bashing Time. They offer valuable classes on the fundemental aspects of pimping. Such as : Finding Your Ass Some Bitches, Getting Threads, Collecting Hoe Money, Pimp Slapping, Whooping that trick, and a variety of other excellent courses. Upon completion of a final year exam you collect your PimpHD in Pimpology, and a complentary crown, pimp staff, and pimp glove to start of your career whoopin dem hoes asses.

[edit] Other uses of the word 'Pimp'

Captain Falcon was a well known pimp. He's seen here slapping Zelda.

Also animals can be really big pimps.

1. "Pimp my ride", the word pimp is slang for "ruin".
2. "Rappers", Used specifically by rappers from the suburbs (i.e. Kanye West) to make them appear "hardcore".
3. “It's hard out here for a pimp”
   

~ Michael Jackson "

A typical Invected with his bitch

[edit] Pimp Language

Some pimps have power.

The elusive 'Pimplish' language was invented in 6 B.C. and was commonly used by pimps such as the Virgin Mary and Winnie the Pooh. Some more well-known phrases include:

• Yo homie you cannot GED wid dis muddafuckin hoe
• Ay bitch, where my mafuckin money?
• I be afraid that imma resort to my mafuckin ultimate Jutsu. Pimp Style: Ultimate Hand Of Pimps!
• Ma bitch
• I is da shizzle in mo' fizzle

shizzle my nizzle

• Don't touch my hoe bro
• Hello I am a pimp.
• It's hard out here for a pimp.
• Hallo, ich bin einen pimipensaft
• Czesc, ja jestem pimpem.
• Hola, soy un pimp
• bitch beddah have mah munny
• Fill out another form? I gets my WICA stamps HERE and NOW or SOMEBODY goin'get bussed-up.
• (T-Pain ft. Yung Joc - Buy U A Drank instrumental playing)(useless moaning in the beginning)Snap yo fingers, till u stare, you can do it all by yourself, baybe girl, waz yo naym, leme talk to ya, lemme buy u a drank! I'm Uber Pimp, you don't know me? im wit Big Fusin' (OEORERSROPEEOOE) i a pimp, im 3 years old, whaz da chancez dat you a ho(girl sucker punches Uber Pimp)
• Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

It is credited for its originality but made unpopular due to its lack of sense.

Pimps also use a wide range of body language and ritualistic dances as shown below:

gay Michael Jackson

this is in a bad state.