Pinky
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[edit] Habitat
There are three common types of pinky. The common garden pinky, the human pinky, and the dog "Pinky".
The first of which, the garden pinky tend to live in moist piles of freshly laid dog crap. They are supplied with the required nutrients in this smelly abode and live happily and generally undisturbed. The human pinky is a close cousin of the garden pinky, the main difference is that they (that is to say, most) do not live in crap but preffer to live on the human hand or foot. These are known as the human pinky. They come in many sizes, attitudes, and sexualities. The largest of which known to man kind is curruntly living in Sydney disguised as a human being.
[edit] How to Recognize a Pinky
- 1.If its Pink
- 2.If it is smiling in a way that makes you feel small and threatened
- 3.If looking at it makes you want to laugh
- 4.If looking at it makes you want to cry
- 5.If looking at it makes you want to either kill it or kill yourself
- 6.If its pink
[edit] How to grow your own Pinky
Pinky growing has been a common practise in many religions. In buddism, it is thought to be a pain-free way of taking out your anger (that is pain-free for the human, not the Pinky). To grow a common garden Pinky you need a large pile of fresh shit and a lot of patience. It is unfortunately impossible to grow a Human Pinky as they cannot be grown and they must be born to the human in question.
[edit] History
The first pinky was said to have belonged to Eve from the garden of Eden. It is said that when she and Adam first met, Adam stared down and said.
"My God It's Pink"
~ Adam to Eve, In the garden of Eden
Since then there has been many famous Pinkys across the ages, the most famous of which was the great Pynck MacPincker. He was famous for being the leader in the famous Pinky revolt of 1569 ad. In this year the people of the earth were disgraced by Pynck as he and his fellow Human Pinkys (this revolt was the largest recorded congregation of large Human Pinkys) as they appeared in public for the first time and got severe ownage on the worlds best chess players.
[edit] Mating Rituals
Um....anyway.
Sssssslth. Figure it out yourself. xD
[edit] What to do when confronted by a Human Pinky
- 1.Try and act as if you do not think it looks funny
- 2.Try and will yourself not to provoke the pinky (a famous example of why not to do this is marked in history by the bruises obtained by Luke Midworth, Ned East, Nathaniel St.hill while doing so).
- 3.Do not mention any resemblance at all to the colour pink.
- 4.Try to act smart.
- 5.Make friends with the pinky (they can be very helpful and loyal pets... i mean friends)
- 6.Rethink all plans for trying to take over the world.
- 7.Do all of the above and then slowly creep out of the pinky's arms reach.
