Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain
Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain was a 1959 film by Steven Spielberg, widely regarded as not only the worst film ever made but also the worst cartoon ever made. Since it's premiere, it has garnered only 5 cents at the Box Office and has recieved more Razzies that Plan 9 from Outer Space, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes or The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
The film came when the "Church" of Scientology, a group of alien invaders posing as selfish film stars, decided to approach Spielberg about making a film on an alien invasion to distract the humans from their true intentions. Instead, Spielberg took the money and made a film about cartoon mice being stalked by a psychotic young girl and a mad scientist, who happens to be her lover.
The film begins when Pinky and the Brain, playing themselves, are purchased by a sadistic schoolgirl named Elmyra Duff, who owns countless other animals that she uses for cruel and heartless experiments. Pinky and the Brain are both left in her room while she dissects an innocent Teddy Bear.
Outside the house, a figure watches the Mice through a pair of binoculars. Though he is unable to hear them, he understands their intentions to escape, and disappears into the woods (to have a piss).
Elmyra returns, drenched in blood, and goes for a shower. Seeing their opportunity, Pinky and the Brain make a run for it, and try to catch a Taxi to Iceland, but fail miserably. They hear Elmyra scream at discovering that the Mice have escaped, and the two mice run off into the woods, where they are halted by a similar mouse named Billie (not to be confused with Billie Piper, Queen of Whores).
Elmyra runs straight past them, and Billie tells them that Elmyra is not what she seems, and takes the two mice back to her place. Having relaxed, the three of them get plastered, and Billie suddenly finds Pinky romantic, ignoring Brain due to his large brain and small cock. Before Billie can squeeze Pinky's meatballs, the ground suddenly shakes as something heavy lands in the woods.
The three rush out and see a flying saucer parked in a no-parking zone. Elmyra walks towards it, where the stranger is seen enticing her in. Pinky, Billie and the Brain all wander into the Flying Saucer, where they see Elmyra and the Stranger both naked and making out in the shower. Examining the charts and files kept aboard, Brain finds out that Elmyra is in fact an alien from planet Saturn, who is collecting information about Earth to plan an invasion.
With time thankfully on their side, the three mice sabotage the saucer to make it blow up once it takes off. They then flee into the woods, just as the Saucer's autopilot kicks in and takes off. The mice watch as the Saucer blows up, and the film suddenly ends.
The film was reportedly so bad that none of the stars were willing to appear at the Premiere, and four of the audience died of internal haemorraging, and the Chairwoman of the Fox Bros. Network survived by tearing her right arm off and beating her neck with it.
Made at a $50,000 budget, the entire audience that survived asked for their money back, and so only 5 cents remained, and there has been no further profit made. The film also caused the popularity of Pinky and the Brain to decline rapidly, and they have both since been replaced in stardom by Slappy Squirrel, whose film career in Slappy's Angels and Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle have been far more successful.
- Pinky and the Brain - Themselves
- Billie - Tress MacNeille
- Elmyra Duff - Paris Hilton
- The Stranger - Tom Cruise
- The Flying Saucer - Himself
- Pet Shop Owner - Rowan Atkinson
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