Placenta

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Tom Cruise eenjoys tearing into Katies lucious placenta.


The placenta is a mysterious antatomic appendige that can be likened to the appendix and the stomach. Scientists speculate that the placenta only gives rise in females who have eaten their own uteruses, and acts like a second uterus, thus allowing the women to give birth again. This is however somewhat of a lucky draw, as the placenta has been known to subtely replace a mothers growing baby with plagues of special worms which can only be killed by drowning. This is where the common expression "to throw the worms out with the bath water" comes from.

Eating the Placenta[edit]

Throughout the world in many cultures, eating the placenta is a common practice. The placenta is filled with fatty proteins and carbohydrates and its taste can be likened to an oily fish. Celebrities Ben Affleck, Tom Cruise, Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton are all known placenta diners. Eating the placenta is also an essential part of Scientology.

The Uterus, The Placenta, & You[edit]

One may wonder why the placenta is so much more highly prized then the uterus, and why people do not eat the uterus. Rev. Ron Hubbard explained it as this:

“The uterus and the placenta are like your first wife and your second wife, the first one is a pile of steamy crap and the second one is the best thing since sliced placenta. Mmmmmm... Placenta... Excuse me one moment please.”

~ Ron Hubbard on Placenta