Play-Doh

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“It hurt my penis.”

~ Rosie O' Donald on the effects of Play-Doh on genitalia.

“Rosie O' Donald is a man.”

~ Captain Obvious on the comment above.

“I thought i. I thought I was saving money.”

~ Oscar Wilde on being stupid.

Play-Doh is some form of Birth Control made by Disney's Sex Toys. It is made from Cardboard, Baby's blood (of the rarest varieties,) and melted plastic. Yeah. It kind of burns.

Discovery[edit]

It is estimated that Play-Doh has been around since the time of the cavemen. Back then they used to sacrifice babies into a boiling pot and mix the results with urine and bone marrow from puppies.

It wasn't until the seventeenth century that they started using cardboard. But back in that old day they used candle wax instead of plastic. Due to the baby shortage of 1742 there were not enough babies to go around to make Play-Doh. This lead to the increase in baby theft which lead to the War of 1742 also known as the "Baby War" brought about by peasants stealing babies from other kingdoms. Stupid peasants.

In the 1950s, when candle wax was exchanged for melted plastic. It gave a better "burning" feeling. Pretty soon everybody in the 1950s was having sex. Pleased with their product, the world moved into a generation of peace and sex. When that was over there were plenty babies full of blood to make Play-Doh with. This caused an overstock of Play-Doh. In response to this, Play-Doh was soon advertised to kids.

Nowadays, Play-Doh is used by everybody. It has been endorsed by such famous celebrities as Betty White and Toucan Sam. It is so well known today that even Jebus himself has been known to endorse it.

Methods of use[edit]

Many scholars have researched and experimented with different ways to use Play-Doh as birth control. People today are still finding ways to use it. Frankly, people who are just looking for more ways to use them than actually having the sex are losers.

  • Throw it at the wall
  • Make a little female face out of it and make it give you head.
  • Cover her vagina with it. (remember- fun to play with, but not to eat.)
  • She could make a little penis out of it and pretend that she's giving head.
  • Make a little bowl with it, pull out your cock and jizz in the cup. And YOU said the pull out method didn't work.
  • Shove it in your anus. Why? We don't know. But it'd just be really funny if you shoved it up your ass.
  • Put some in your eyes so you can't see anything. Erection gone!
  • Make two little Play-Doh people and make them have sex instead.
  • If all else fails, when the baby is born shove some down it's throat and choke it. Problem solved.

Salt conspiracy[edit]

Due to some people who actually picked up the stuff and ate it, (yes, there are some people out there) and claim that Play-Doh is nothing more than salt. These people are morons. Play-Doh is clearly made from a number of different substances stated already in the article. We're not going to list them again. If you really don't remember, go back and look. Stupid. Many famous scientists have studied Play-Doh in search for the true ingredients, and eventually proved all the conspiracies wrong, claiming the people who challenged the product in the first place are complete morons.