Please delete this page

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Vote for donation This page does not fit in Uncyclopedia, or is not funny with little chance for redemption. Someone has requested a donation ("show me the money"). It may be voted on in Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion whether to keep it or not. Now, you'd better go check out this page's entry.

Just about sums up this article.

“There is nothing amusing to be said about this page.”

~ Oscar Wilde on this page

“I have never done it before, but there's a first for everything. I'm going to fucking kill whoever made this page, just for using this fucking cliche.”

~ Steve you-know-who on this page

“Caring about this page should be the least of George Bush's priorities.”

~ Kanye West on this page

“PENIS ENHANCEMENT PENIS ENHANCEMENT. YOU ARE 1,000,000,000,000 VISITOR, CLICK HERE FOR YOUR FREE XBOX 360!!!!”

~ The Pope on this page

The above conspicuously violates the copyright of KFC not just once, but twice, and will likely incur double the legal problems.

Please delete this page. This page is an udder waste of space and should be removed for a number of reasons, all specified below. It goes without saying that this page a candidate for speedy deletion, and hopefully you got here by clicking a link on QVFD.

What follows is a general outline of the chief reasons this page has no merit: First - it has no merit, second - it has no merit and then of course notability, gibberish from the mouth of a twelve-year-old, vanity, contradiction, shock imagery, Caps-lock MISUSE, poorly ordered outlines, awkward cliches, absence of links, and dwojfsdf OMG OMG WTF LULZ, I am rhythmicly fluent in dolphin Squeek squeek squeek .

[edit] Stupid, not funny

Let's get one detail straight: King James was a 19th-century robot created by Michael Moore to translate The DaVinci Code into French. Instead of performing his task, however, all he ever printed was a series of pamphlets predicting that, thanks to its pointless anachronisms and other weak attempts at absurdity, this particular webpage would one day suck more than any other whore.

In addition, Uncyclopedia is not meant to be accurate; it's meant to be humorous. Farts, in principle, should go on Wikipedia. The following information should help make this clear.

• Benjamin Harrison was elected President of the United States in 1888.^[1]
• The square root of sixteen is four.^[2]
• When Stephen Hawking pooted he created Bill Gates.
• The quantum harmonic oscillator is the quantum mechanical analogue of the classical harmonic oscillator. It is one of the most important model systems in quantum mechanics because, as in classical mechanics, a wide variety of physical situations can be reduced to it either exactly or approximately. In particular, a system near an equilibrium configuration can often be described in terms of one or more harmonic oscillators. Furthermore, it is one of the few quantum mechanical systems for which a simple exact solution is known.^[3]
• NASA's Moon Landing was far less of an achievement than Time Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Earth, with 4 simultaneous corner days in 1 rotation of Earth. (singularity belief scientist can't comprehend T.O.E.) The Universe is composed of Opposites - existing only as Opposites - with a zero value existence - cancelling to nothing as a singularity. I think Cubic, therefore I rise above the singularity mentality human and the false gods they worship - discovering a Universe of Opposites their education will never allow them to know. Evil of believing is not measuring and the result of not measuring - is never knowing Truth, ineffable by man or god. God SINGULARITY and the academic taught singularity constitute great evils in the Cubic World of Opposites - Opposites hemispheres and Opposite sexes of humanity.^[4]

[edit] CAPS LOCK usage

SOME OF THIS PAGE IS VERY POORLY FORMATTED AND IS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS LOCK. I BET ONE OF THOSE SILLY BENSON FOLLOWERS MADE IT. ALL THE BENSON STUFF SHOULD BE LIMITED TO THE 3D HOUSE OF PANCAKES FORUM, NOT TO ACTUAL UNCYCLOPEDIA PAGES. PLEASE GIVE THE CREATOR A SHORT BAN TO TEACH HIM A LESSON ABOUT UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZATION. FARTS.

[edit] T00 M4Ny C1ich35!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!one!!545?\

All your base are belong to this article. you have no chance to survive the OVER NINE THOUSAND overused and generally /epicfail cliches used in this page. 400 babies!!!!?!?!11 riCkr0lling noob pwnt soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi JFGI!!! OMGWTFBBQLOLOLOLOLOOOLPLOLLOLOLOLLOLOLOL shit <(O.O)> did you know if you type your password in it shows up as ********* 127.0.0.1 omg im in ur top 8 NARF!!! NARF NARF NARF!! 0|\/|G 6uy5 1|\/| 500000 1337 1 pwnzers joo! SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! this is not vandalism. bash.org. you lost the game. 300. what does the scouter say about his power level? UR MOM I can haz recon omg hax hax haxor haxing noob newfag LAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BRAINSSSSS cancer nazi reference fuck the internet is for pr0n 4chan welcome aboard the FAILroad with service to FAILadelphia hope you brought your FAILcoat it's a FAILstorm outside HaY GUyz I bEt U wiLL ReSpEKt Mai oPiNIonS iF i taALK lIEk diSS

[edit] Vanity

This page violates Uncyclopedia's vanity and privacy policies by referencing the following obscure real-life persons:

• Mike Hawk from Lakewood Public High School. Hawk is essentially the best basketball player there. Timmy's classmate Bobby stinks and ought to get a life instead of playing World of Warcraft all day long, at which he sucks anyway.
• My ex-wife Shirlena of Bismarck, South Dakota. I hate her for the way she treats our children, the hygienic decrepitude of her vagina, and her garnishing of my wages.

One of the worst things about this page is that it refers to Uncyclopedia users directly. John Lennon was a pot smoking peace activist hippie. We all know from the Euroipods episode that this can cause utter chaos; Composure1 really made a mess of things with that article. Furthermore, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion is lame, period. Lame lame lame . Just like a certain article and just like my mom.

• Me Me me me me me Me Me i'm teh leet |\/|3 Mel MEEEEEEEEEEEEe

[edit] Codeine's Mum Rule

You know, even the so-called experts at a second-rate site like Wikipedia have the sense not to have an article with the title Please delete this page. Really, why would they?

Codeine's mum, and I bet even Codeine's dad, has never heard of "Please delete this page." This means it's a topic that's not widely known, and not being notable, there is no reason for a page to exist about this subject.

DID U KNOW THAT U CAN TRIP OUT ON nutmeg? iTS FuN!!!

Not only that, but that's not even a policy standard here, and my writing that it was a clear violation of the unwritten rule of honesty.

[edit] Abuse of "USERNAME" template

Someone told me that this page abuses the "USERNAME" template, which has gotten Your Mom into a lot of trouble before. We don't want to return to the days when trolls like, say, <insert name here> were splattering "{{USERNAME}} is an asshole" everywhere. In fact, I'd say that deep down, <insert name here> was the asshole all along. Shit, I hope <insert name here> doesn't see this...

Oh God, why do I drive this ever further into the ground?

nutmeg

Dammit, I think <insert name here> just found us...

[edit] Dead End

As if everything else wasn't enough, this page is a dead end — it doesn't contain links to any other articles, and doesn't cite sources.^{[[ citation needed ]]} Clearly someone just spent a few minutes making this, and didn't put in any effort at all.

Not only that, but it actually does link to a couple pages The following template is therefore needed, a sure indication of a lack of quality:

We're DOOMED! This article contradicts itself. The article submitter probably has split personality. You can help Uncyclopedia by making its left hand know what the right hand does.

Let's put it out there again, to make this crystal clear:

Please not not allow the above redundancy to go unnoticed.

[edit] Shock images

In blatant violation of Uncyc rules, this page contains shock images, like this one of a person getting an electric shock. Note that this section has no other purpose but to shock this poor, poor woman(?).

[edit] References

The only thing this page has going for it is that it cites its sources. Oh, wait, it doesn't. and once again,

1. ↑ This footnote is entirely unnecessary.
2. ↑ Four, huh? I am splitting my sides over how hilarious the cold, hard facts can be sometimes.
3. ↑ This phrase was copied verbatim from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You'll_just_have_to_find_out_yourself.
4. ↑ Ray, Gene. Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-Day Time Cube. Batshit Insane Press, 1993.

[edit] This page's actual deletion log

• 18:44, 14 January 2007 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) hacked up "Please delete this page" (1 revisions restored: Everyone take a turn.)
• 18:44, 14 January 2007 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) huffed "Please delete this page" (2.7 Deleted per author request)
• 18:28, 14 January 2007 Tompkins (Talk | contribs) hacked up "Please delete this page" (1 revisions restored: Oh wait, that was a joke wasn't it? Damn...)
• 18:27, 14 January 2007 Tompkins (Talk | contribs) huffed "Please delete this page"

   

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