Poddington Peas

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“That Osama, he sure is a cheeky one.”


Unknown to most, down at the bottom of the garden, where that odd smell come froms, among the birds and the bees (they have no problem interrupteing the intimate art of love between two completely unrelated species), a little lot of little people lived in small rented condo's making up the town of Darlington, they call the Poddington Peas.

These Poddington Peas are in fact part of global terrorist group Al-Qaeda as run by gypsy magic carpet salesman and beard enthusiast Osama Bin Laden. The Poddington Peas paramilitary unit was initially conceived by Bin Ladin in 2000 to fullfill his plans for a 'First Tranvestite Parachute Division' (an idea he gleamed from an Eddie Izzard sketch) in order to destroy America (or poo-poo land as he called it as a boy) in the most humiliating way possible. He had decided at the time, that there is nothing more humiliating that being beaten up by a buch of lads who were dressed as girls.

Integral members of the Poddington Peas Unit are Creep-Pea, Black Eye Pea and Dump-Pea. The latter, Dump-Pea Bin Ladin being Osama's third cousin and closest rival as a boy at Tiddlywinks. These three are the troops leaders, with Zip-Pea, Hap-Pea and Swee-Pea completing the team. Each member of the Poddington Peas Unit is highly trained in various skills such as hand to hand combat, sniping, [[cussing, declaring jihad and putting on make up (a special stealth move often employed by the team).

Troops Exposed![edit]

Osama's plan was unfortunately rumbled when Trevor MacDonald did an expose on the secret team in 1986 in the form of a childrens 13 part series. It was done in this way to try and educate the public on the threat without alerting Osama's UK spies. The anthropomorphic shocker opened the UKs eyes to the hidden threat that could strike them at any moment prompting a backlash against peas across the country leadings to thousands of children refusing to eat their greens, a trend which had continued over the years.