Pokémon
- Note: This article is about Pokémon in general. For the show, see Pokemon (Show). Other related articles can be found at the Pokémon Center.
““Burger King and North Korea consumer product safety uncommission want me to know about the violentary recall of fucking this Poke Balls, the balls may piss a suffocation hazard to babies under shitty 3, throw the ball here or bombing Burger King, the not safety of your pedophile is of the ass-most importance to fucked us!”
 PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this fact. |
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This article will be eaten by a crazy fat kid. Run away! |
Pokémon (陰茎の穴) is a multi-billion dollar global franchise owned by the Nintendo corporation and its army of Japanese blue collar men working to achieve their minimum wage (to please the world's fucking anime dumbshit Nintendo fans of all ages]]
Most native Japanese actually prefer a different orientalized cartoon franchise called Yokai Watch, which also represents poorly implemented Japanese cultural representation via watered down kiddie snuff, yet also focuses on using captured creatures for battle.
Nintendo keeps their beloved culturally inaccurate franchise running stronger than Muscle Man and the Un-huffable Kitten by making each new title slightly more innovative, fresher than corn dildus, yet indistinguishable from previous titles.
The concept revolves around various ameri-orientalized asian people stuffing neon colored small animals into tiny hollow orbs that resemble fishing bobbles, and forcing them to fight each other in the manner of Japanese fighting beetles... It is likely that this idea lead to the rapid increase in animal abuse by kids, and the fact that it's just another poorly-constructed Japanese cartoon - that gave the world EVEN MORE extremely warped views on Asian history and traditional culture - is absolutely true.
Smart People That Hate Pokemon (both native JP and non JP indigenous)[edit]
- Your Mom
- Osamu Sato (became an adult in the early 80's and remained resistant to this stupid shit whilst making OSD Games in the 1990's, the time when Pokemon emerged.
- Emperor Jimmu's Spirit (who attempted to nuke Nintendo's HQ in 2017 for turning Japanese kids into stupid pieces of shit via culturally inaccurate vidya franchises.)
- Japanese Ameri-Boos who prefer classic cartoons from the west than their own cheaply produced teenage dramas.
- Pudding
- the Finger family
- Elsa, Anna and Olaf
- Donald Duck
- the Shikoku Pilgrims who adhere to their traditional Japanese lifestyle that enriches the mind with hiking, spirituality and steering away from dumbshit furries and cosplayers if they are spotted on their walks...
- The Ainu people
Pokémon Red[edit]
| Pokémon Red | |
|---|---|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Red |
| Would Oliver Twist play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Blue[edit]
| Pokémon Blue | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Blue |
| Would Steve Austin play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Green[edit]
| Pokémon Green | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Green |
| Would Rolf Harris play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Yellow[edit]
| Pokémon Yellow | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Yellow |
| Would Katie Holmes play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Gold[edit]
| Pokémon Gold | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Gold |
| Would Donald Trump play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Silver[edit]
| Pokémon Silver | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Silver |
| Would Bart Simpson play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Crystal[edit]
| Pokémon Crystal | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Crystal |
| Would Osama bin Laden play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Ruby[edit]
| Pokémon Ruby | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Ruby |
| Would SEHS play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Sapphire[edit]
| Pokémon Sapphire | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Sapphire |
| Would Edgar Allan Poe play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon Emerald[edit]
| Pokémon Emerald | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | Emerald |
| Would Walt Disney play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon FireRed[edit]
| Pokémon FireRed | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | FireRed |
| Would Mr. T play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon LeafGreen[edit]
| Pokémon LeafGreen | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats. |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Game Boy |
| Rating | LeafGreen |
| Would Joe Walsh play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.
Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.
Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Blastoise on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.
Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.
[edit]
Pokémon SHIT Diamond[edit]
| Pokémon Diamond | |
|---|---|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Nintendo DS |
| Rating | Diamond |
| Would Bill Bennett play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Dead People (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks Japanese but was only recently released to the world at large due to significantly huge shits in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld. In the most recent one you spend the day eating shit and having sex with your animals.
Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks Japanese sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the shit fountain south of the Shitface Park.
Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the shiny Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition. Then more Pokémon were introduced later on by the Greeks, which creates new problems. One of the problems they faced is the Mudkip, who is now with Jigglypuff doing crack and weed in the streets of Nevada.
[edit]
Pokémon SHIT Diamond[edit]
| Pokémon Pearl | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Nintendo DS |
| Rating | Pearl |
| Would Stephen Colbert play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Dead People (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks Japanese but was only recently released to the world at large due to significantly huge shits in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld. In the most recent one you spend the day eating shit and having sex with your animals.
Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks Japanese sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the shit fountain south of the Shitface Park.
Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the shiny Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition. Then more Pokémon were introduced later on by the Greeks, which creates new problems. One of the problems they faced is the Mudkip, who is now with Jigglypuff doing crack and weed in the streets of Nevada.
[edit]
Pokémon SHIT Diamond[edit]
| Pokémon Platinum | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Developer | The Japanese |
| Release Date | to United States children for mind-control |
| Genre | Enslavement |
| Platforms | Nintendo DS |
| Rating | Platinum |
| Would Niels Bohr play it? | Not likely |
Child mind-control at its finest, Dead People (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks Japanese but was only recently released to the world at large due to significantly huge shits in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld. In the most recent one you spend the day eating shit and having sex with your animals.
Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks Japanese sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the shit fountain south of the Shitface Park.
Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the shiny Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).
When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition. Then more Pokémon were introduced later on by the Greeks, which creates new problems. One of the problems they faced is the Mudkip, who is now with Jigglypuff doing crack and weed in the streets of Nevada.
[edit]
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| |
| Pokémon: | Charmander - Grue - Hyundai - Ling-Ling - Meowth - Mew - Mudkip - Pichu - Pikachu - Poliwag - Snorlax - Teh Cheat - Towelie - Wobbuffet - Torchic - Yoshi |
| People: | Ash - Brock - Herman Cain - Max - Pokemon Kid - Team Rocket |
| Locations: | Glitch City - Pokemon Island |
| Other: | Pikachusetts - Windows FireRed/LeafGreen - Anime series - 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins - UnNews Pokémon Indonesia Special - Christian Symbology - Pokemon card - Gotta Catch 'Em All |
| The Conclave of Doom: Fred Phelps, Ed Gein, Enron, Evil Jesus, Wikia, The United States of Arabia, Iran, |
Space Committee: Marshall Applewhite, L. Ron Hubbard, Robotic ghost pirates | |
| Music/Theatre Committee: Abu Hamza, Ke$ha, The Jonas Brothers, Frank Sinatra | Politics Committee: Dick Cheney, Glenn Beck, Chairman Mao, Kim Jong-il, Osama bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, Bill O'Reilly, "Ileana" Ross Lehtinen, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Richard M. Nixon, Xi Jinping, Benjamin Franklin, David "Delinquent" Cameron, Vladimir Putin, Nigel Farage, The Casagrandes | See also: Baby Seals, Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition |