Pokémon The Movie 666

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“A beautiful and artistically moving film. It moved me to suicide.”

~ Tamia on Pokemon the Movie 666

“John Milton and Pikachu are going to hell.”

~ Fred Phelps on Pokemon the Movie 666

“Two epics in 400 years, not too shabby.”

~ John Milton on Pokemon the Movie 666
Pokémon The Movie 666

Promotional poster.
Directed by Roman Polanski
Produced by Steven Spielberg
Arthur Read
Written by John Milton, Tara Gilesbie
Starring Keanu Reeves
Hanner Bananer
Hugh Hefner
Tess Durbeyfield
Voldemort
Rosie O'Donnell
Mr. T
Music by Cannibal Corpse, Enya
Cinematography William Faulkner
Editing by What editing?
Distributed by Viacom
Release date(s) Pending
Running time 666 min.
Language English
Latin
Budget Undisclosed
[n/a Official website]


Pokémon The Movie 666: Ash the Antichrist is a controversial sequel to previous Pokemon movies such as Pokemon: The First (and Hopefully Last) Movie and Pokemon: Acid Trip. While anticipated by critics, Pokemon The Movie 666 has come under fire from various religious groups for its unconventional interpretation of the Bible.

Plot[edit]

Pokemon The Movie 666 follows a young (anti)hero Ash Ketchum as he awakens to his role as the antichrist and attempts to catch the four legendary Pokemon of the Apocolypse. After beating his mother to death, Ash sets out on his quest, accompanied by his Pikachu. He befriends a pimp named Cock and a prostitute named Muffy, who agree to participate in various sexual acts and Satanic rituals.

Ash and his comrades face many obstacles on their quest for world domination and pure evil. Team Rocket, played by the Pope and Chuck Norris, battle Ash and Satan on various occasions, including a final showdown at the Vatican, in which Ash makes himself Pope. The film ends with a truce in which Ash agrees to destroy aliens in return for his freedom.

Production[edit]

Pokemon The Movie666 employed a talented production team including writers John Milton (Paradise Lost, Monty Python and the Holy Grail) and Tara Gilesbie (My Immortal, My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside), and editor William Faulkner. While Viacom never disclosed the budget, mad scientists have suggested that the costs of resurrecting John Milton and William Faulkner alone would have run into the trillions of dollars.

Screenplay[edit]

While regarded by many scholars as the greatest work of literature of the twenty-first century, the screenplay of Pokemon The Movie 666 carries with it an infamous backdrop of authorial tension. Producers did not anticipate the numerous disagreements between Tara Gilesbie and John Milton, which often held up production. Both authors shared their feelings about the writing process in People Magazine. John Milton spoke with confidence: "See, Ash is what people would consider a 'sexy character.' He's bad, but you can't help but sympathize with him. I did the same thing a few years back with Satan. I really think initially portraying Ash as a hero did the trick here." Tara Gilesbie expressed less faith in John Milton's writing ability, saying, "Fuk u Jon mirton. u r a fuking prepzzz!!!!!111 fuk of.1" The tension between the two writers came to a head when Tara Gilesbie punched John Milton and got arrested. Milton finished the project alone.

Controversy[edit]

Many conservative Christian groups have spoken out against Pokemon The Movie 666 because of its creative liberties with the Bible. The Westboro Baptist Church has been especially vocal. Fred Phelps issued a statement, claiming, "God hates Pikachu. Ash has a girlfriend so he's not gay and therefore cannot be the Antichrist. It's a shame Ash isn't gay because I'd like to tap that." Phelps' church protested on several occasions at the film's production studio.

Critical Reception[edit]

While not released to the public, Pokemon The Movie 666 won every Academy Award, including Best Animated Film, despite being live action. Rotten Tomatoes gives it 666% favorable reviews and Rolling Stone calls it "Afuckinmazing."


DVD & Blu-ray release[edit]

The movie was released on DVD & Blu-ray from Uncyclomedia Films on October 7, 2008. The special features include the film's original trailer, and it also has a certificate inside the case that certifies that you have watched the movie without being such a crybaby. The movie was uploaded on YouTube on October 6, 2008, just one day prior to the DVD & Blu-ray release. However, Viacom took it down within two weeks because those people at Viacom are whiny crybabies.

Rating[edit]

The movie is rated PG-13 for disturbing scenes. So you shouldn't watch this if you're germophobic.

See also[edit]

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Pokémon The Movie 666 is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.