Porky Pig

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo5.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Porky Pig.

Ta...ba...da...ta...ba...ta...ta...be...dee...BITCH!

Don't let him near you.

Porky Pig (June 12, 1935 - July 12, 2009) was born t-t-t-to Wakko Warner, in an effort to per-per-per...convince the public that the Warner Bros. Studio could not be taken seriously, a distraction from their true intentions against the Disney studio. He made his debut in the film "Four-Leaf Clover" in which he attempts to sing the famous (off-color) tunes in his stutter (which he created himself as part of his act.) This was considered a bomb at the box office. The character never would have been used again had not a gang of stutterers who loved the character "insi-s-si-demanded" they bring him back. A couple years later, thanks in part to the convincing of co-star Daffy Duck, Porky began a new career in adult cartoons. It is during this career that he created his own belief system and sport drink porkyMAXX in which believers refuse do wear pants. Though he made a total of one, it was here that he met his future wife, Petunia Pig. She became his costar in many Warner Bros. cartoons.

Death[edit]

After His Wife became a heavy drinker, Porky became d-d-d-d-d-d..emo. So, like any normal fucking American pig he ate chocolate for like 59 hours straight. He was now obese and unable to act. Warner Brothers fired him on causes of being "Too much of a Fat little Pig-Fucker" Porky d-d-decided he w-w-w-would loose weight and become an actor for disney! So he bought a gym pass, went to work out, but Mexicans who were hiding in his belly escaped and Porky was arrested for smuggling little fucking mexicans over the border in his FAT-ASS, On September 22, 1998 He was b-b-b-b-brutally rapped by Yogi Bear in the showers because for some reason they had fat fetishes. His friend, Captain Jesus called 911 and the paramedics took him to The Scrappy Doo Medical Center. He miraculously survived this attack.

Sadly, Porky's luck r-r-r-ran out when he died of swine flu at the same hospital in July 2009. He was 74.

Essential work[edit]

Porky Pig was infamous in Hollywood for his sudden and impulsive profanity-laced outbursts. Biographers now believe he may have been suffered from Tourette's Syndrome.

"Porky's Duck Hunt" - Longtime co-star Daffy Duck made his debut in this film getting hunted Porky.

"The Case of the Non-Stuttering Pig" - Porky finds a long-lost relative (or so he thinks) that lacks the hereditary stutter.

"Porky in Tasmania" - Porky ventures to Tasmania to capture the last Tasmanian Devil

"Porky and the Lone Guy" - Porky fills in as the Lone Ranger's sidekick. A precursor to his later sidekick roles opposite Daffy Duck.

"G-G-God Bless America" - Elmer Fudd tries to help Porky recite the Pledge of Alliegance, but with both of their speech impediments, neither can understand what the other is saying.

"You Oughta Be in Picture" - Daffy traps Porky in a box containing various other dimensions, invented by Wile E. Coyote. The box becomes popular. In the end, Porky is freed and Daffy becomes trapped in the box. This cartoon led to the creation of the television.

"Pork Preview" - Porky tries his hand at directing a cartoon himself, starring Daffy Duck.

"Corny Concerto" - Porky is hired by Elmer Fudd, the host of the concert, to publicly execute Bugs Bunny. One of Porky's few appearances with Bugs. He actually despised the rabbit almost as much as Daffy.

"The Looney Tuner Crooner" - Oswald-nominated cartoon in which Porky hires Foghorn Leghorn to sing for his chickens.

"Baby Pain In the Neck" - When a human woman gives birth, she tells both Porky and Daffy that they are the father.

"The Sunduck Kid" - Porky plays the incompetent sheriff of Old Pedos and must rely on Daffy to save the town from Yosemite Sam.

"Duck Dodgers" - Porky reveals himself to be the father of both Daffy and his evil twin Marvin the Martian in this cartoon.

"Robin Duck" - Porky/Little John must find a dinner guest for Daffy/Robyn Hode. The Tasmanian Devil finally joins him, but eats him.

"Too Good For The Porky God" - Porky finds the real Porky God in himself.

See also[edit]