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|| Welcome to Uncyclopedia's People portal.
This is by far the most biographical portal you will ever find.
People are evil. Fear people. They are known to eat oranges. People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby". Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style.
Featured Biographical Article
You are happy to meet me. This disappoints me. My presence should take you beyond mere happiness. Let me tell you the truth; you are ecstatic! How could you not be? I'm Karl Lagerfeld!
Listen to me when I speak. Listen baby. Do you mind that I call you "baby"? It does not matter! It is not your place to choose such things! I'm Karl Lagerfeld! Other babies would be delighted if I were to take time out from my day and call them "baby". Do you think that you are special? No! Only I am special!
Follow Karl Lagerfeld and let me show you my power. Pause and look...
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After the scientist invented the time-travel machine, Vin Diesel goes back in time to pose for Leonardo Da Vinci in 1508. Tabloids read: "MONALIESEL is complete!" though the actual title of the painting was Manalisa.
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Below is a list of popular people:
“People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately”
- ~ Oscar Wilde
- ...that the original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
- ...that every 23 seconds a Tupperware party starts somewhere in the world.
- ...that more Monopoly money is printed yearly than real money throughout the world.
- ...that former enemies, America and Russia now have a great deal in common - they both lead the world in locking people up.
- Find a remarkable article about someone and suggest it for promotion.
- Help re wright articles about people. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic.
- Be as social as you possibly can.