Portal:People
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 | Welcome to Uncyclopedia's People portal.
This is by far the most biographical portal you will ever find. |
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People are evil. Fear people. They are known to eat oranges. People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby". Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style.
Featured Biographical Article
Medusa
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Medusa is a good example of what happens if you fall out with your personal stylist. Medusa learnt her lesson too late !
You could say Medusa had a pretty rotten life all round. Whereas her sisters got eternal life - she was told she had to be 'the mortal one' - but would at least look drop dead gorgeous in the bargain. Medusa took this crumb of comfort and got a job looking after Athena's temple. Inside it had a huge statue of the supposed virgin goddess scratching her bare bum after a game of tennis - a saucy gift to Athena from Aphrodite. Surrounded with sexual innuendo - Medusa soon fell to her more basic urges and agreed to a quickie with a passing Greek God in the temple. However Athena - who had already installed a discreet CCTV in the temple - saw the whole romp on her Olympus Size HD screen !
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Selected Picture
After the scientist invented the time-travel machine, Vin Diesel goes back in time to pose for Leonardo Da Vinci in 1508. Tabloids read: "MONALIESEL is complete!" though the actual title of the painting was Manalisa.
People in the news
- Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths
- Some old guy died, or something (ask your parents)
- Michael Jackson dies! Also Farrah Fawcett
- The Revolution betrayed!| (pictured)
- Mrs. DeWinter's first name discovered|
- Jon Stewart plagiarizes UnNews!
- Miss Manners, Sexiquette: June 17
- Calvin Klein billboard atom blasts envelope
- The French get risque! Who knew?
- Letterman arrested for rape
Other remarkable people
Below is a list of popular people:
Quote of the Day
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.”
Did you know...
- ...that the original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
- ...that every 23 seconds a Tupperware party starts somewhere in the world.
- ...that more Monopoly money is printed yearly than real money throughout the world.
- ...that Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, and Dostoyevsky were all epileptics (aka brain disorder).
Things You Can Do
- Find a remarkable article about someone and suggest it for promotion.
- Help re wright articles about people. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic.
- Be as social as you possibly can.
