Post-modern

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Don't you buggers dare start using e-mail, or I'm putting the cat in the blender.

Post-modern is a late 20th Century term for email. Before the invention of email in 1952, people thought they were modern if they had chrome-plated fenders on their cars. Automobiles had long fins and elaborate radiator grills. Obtaining information in those long-gone days required the harnessing of snails to collect and deliver the post. With the advent of email, however, the post-modern age dawned and snails were relegated to backyards. People realised that shiny metal car parts and designs based on sea creatures were old fashioned and that they could get around just as well using SUVs. Email, however, is yet to have its day, and pundits predict that we are on the brink of discovering that we don't really need to go anywhere at all, and that we can be virtually omnipresent simply by dying our knees purple and emailing pictures of our SUVs to our friends and spam lists without even getting up out of our chairs.

Adjusting to the mindset of a typical post-modernist requires thinking so far ahead that you envisage your own death and, in a pathetic attempt to avoid the inevitable, remove all value and meaning from your works and/or opinions. Some people have been so successful in these attempts that death has ignored them completely. See Undead or Martin Amis.

See Also[edit]

Art Movements
Renaissance · Realism · Impressionism
Abstract · Abstract expressionism · Dada · Pop art · Futurism · Surrealism · Minimalism · Post-Modernism · Look, It's Art · Conceptual Art · Latteism · Photorealism · First Gradeism · Graffitism · Still life · Artistic License · Art That Looks Like Nothing · Bad Art