Poverty

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Poverty.

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Tyler f is the poorest person in the world. he couldnt afford lice medicane so he cut his hair off with scissors he stole from the school.He smells like a nigger and looks like one too.He has no meaning in life so he should commit suicide.His mom ate his dog and will probly eat tyler too if she gets the chance. he gos tio the mall and steals all the free samples and fills up water bottles from the trash in the water fountains.

Poor people eat this.
If you're feeling impoverished, why not get adopted by Angelina Jolie? It's not like she isn't hot or anything.

Poverty is a means by which people insulate themselves from recessions POOP ALL OVER THE FLOOR BOARDS! AAARG!!. While their neighbors piss and moan about how working for practically no money totally sucks, the poor are prepared for austerity measures, such as turning the thermostat down to 45 degrees Farenheit, eating Sam's Choice brand Hamburger Helper, or skinning their children to make a hat.

There are competing views on poverty. The capitalist view suggests that poverty is the natural trickle-down effect of continued efficiency. As companies become more efficient, so do individuals. The everyone elseist view says that poverty really sucks, and that The Man is just greedy as fuck.

POVERTY IS MADE UP OF : 40% BLACKS 12% WHITES 60% RETARDS 11.9% HOMOPHOBES 1.7% JEWISH BABIES -53% RHINOCERUS ANUS

Causes of poverty[edit]

  1. Lack of money.

2. Inheritance from your poor uncle.

  1. The Man.
  2. Republicans.
  3. gay sex with Republicans.
  4. Celeberites
  5. Michael Jackson
  6. sucking at life
  7. ex-wives
  8. having poor parents
  9. abusive stepdads
  10. Poor people
  11. Americans, Beaners and Republicans
  12. Being poor as crap and then giving birth to 6 kids who you have to feed
  13. Being fired
  14. Being robbed
  15. No job
  16. God's vengeful wrath
  17. Predestination
  18. China, Japan or any other "Made in the Orient" country
  19. Your mother
  20. and Roundhouse kicks from Chuck Norris
  21. Being retarded
  22. being a nigger

23.being a aboriginal and smoking so to much weed trying to experience the dreamtime 24.not being an australian

Effects of poverty[edit]

Poverty gives rise to a number of diseases. Chief among these is a form of dementia that makes poor people think they can get ahead if they work really hard. This is not true. A similar form of dementia makes poor people think they can get rich by buying lottery tickets. This is true, of course, but only if one buys the winning ticket.

Poverty is only an excuse for people not to wear clothes.

In America, poor people are a small minority, therefore it sucks to be poor in a rich country like America.

Poverty gives way to new poverty when idiots like Tammy Blevins mooch off of the corrupt system that takes our money called WELFARE!

Handling Poverty[edit]

During Lyndon Baines Johnson's "War on Poverty," the most effective solution to poverty was found to be dangling pieces of meat over the edges of canyons. The types of meat used varied depending on the race of the poor person in question. Although most poor persons generally prefer some form of bucketed chicken, pork, whether it be ribs, pork chops, or sweet and sour pork, this was largely a moot point, since the vultures and other carrion-eating creatures who ate the poor people didn't particularly care what they'd eaten, as long as their bodies were dangling over the edge of the canyon in question.the most common poor person is known as the phillipene AKA Frank

Later experiments conducted by the NSA also found that voting for Democrats was also an effective remedy to poverty. However, counter-studies have shown that shooting Republicans may be an even more effective solution. Additionally, the GOP has recently theorized that poverty can be ended by rounded up the poor and forcing them by way of a cat-o-nine-tails to run on a giant hampster wheel which would then power our cities. This wouldn't necessarily make them successful, it would simply give them something to do, also, they'd be used to feed cattle when they can no longer run.

What doesn't work[edit]

The unemployed.

Poverty Calculator[edit]

Poverty can be calculated using the famous Broken Dreams Index (BDI). Discovered by nobel laureate Jon Stewart in the early 2000's, the BDI is a simple formula using the ratio of Ramen noodles bought (RNB) and the total number of liters of plasma sold (LPS).

BDI = RNB / LPS

Native Americans have the highest BDI, followed by Rednecks and White trash, military wifes and their families, anyone who never finish education past high school, and finally Old people after 50 years (high BDI) in corporate America are reduced to dismal monthly SSI paychecks. Ain't that America? The land of the free and home of the...first world poor.