Prehistoric

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Dinosaurs and Robots only existed in prehistory, because they squashed anyone who tried to write about them.

Prehistoric things happened or existed before any history was known. Therefore, very little is known about anything prehistoric. It's common sense, however, that in prehistoric times Earth was populated by dinosaurs or aliens. This is completely against the word of God, who says he created Earth and mankind in about a week. This would be part of history, since it's written down in the Bible, which is clearly correct.

PreHistoric? Bullhonkey!..Or is it?[edit]

How can there be something before the age of History, history is history and there cannot be something before history. Historian and popular homosexual Tay Zonday devised this theory in the late 20th century, in his laboratory behind a bookcase in his room the crapper. However, due to the fact that his voice sounds like shit stuffed in a blender, it was quickly dismissed as being indecipherable.

The Beginning of the Beginning[edit]

The popular theory about the beginning of Prehistory is that a bunch of nothing was hanging out in the middle of nowhere, possibly engaging in intercourse or general buggery, and then just blew the fuck up, creating the universe. Scientists have been attempting to go back in time to see just what happened at this crucial Kodak moment. So far, leading NAMBLA scientists have only been able to travel back seventy bajillion years, and have been perplexed that the only thing they are able to see through the massive explosion is a pair of truly huge balls.

The Formation of Mars Earth[edit]

According to resident bad motherfucker Shigeru Miyamoto, the Earth was created by three golden goddesses who descended from the heavens eons ago. There was Din, the goddess of power, Nayru, the goddess of wisdom and Farore, the goddess of courage. tl;dr: Din made Earth, Nayru made all the shit, Farore made the living shit. The point at which these hot bitches left earth is also considered to be the creation point of the triforce, and the inspiration for the band Metallica.

See also[edit]