Present

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Present is usually box-shaped and found under a Christmas tree, or it can be the time period in which you find yourself at this exact moment.

But if you were looking for what come before the present, that would be past, and this article is about presents and the present, not the past.

Santas present[edit]

Santa invented the present, but it was later mass-produced by Satan and sold at Wal-Mart for $19.99. Presents are rarely found cheaper, but during mid-October to around December, 24th presents are likely to be sold at twice the accumulated price for the rest of the year.

Presents reproduce in a similar manner to rabbits. Often you will find presents hanging out in gangs. This mainly occurs in the homes of little old ladies during December.

Types of presents[edit]

  • Presents that have to be returned
  • Ties
  • Socks
  • Cheap Toys Made In China That Last 34 seconds

Present, because Santa's present happened in the past[edit]

Yes, it true.

If you are reading this after you read about the Presents that Santa brings, then you are past the "present" part of the article and are no longer in that present, because its past. Got it?