Prince Albert, Saskatchewan
Prince Albert is a large, dominating Empire in the northern reaches of Canadia AKA The World. It has been ruled by the Queen Regina and Emperor William Shatner for the past 62 000.6667 years, ever since the Empress' massive zombie army raped and pillaged Prince Albert's citizenry, resulting in the Dark Age of Prince Albert. Fortunately for the living citizens, the roots of the Yardarmy were created during this Dark Age, and drove back the zombies, led by Hoel Crotwell, James Gronlid, and Dan Melville. Empress Kayla succeeded in conquering Prince Albert, however, by killing the former king and queen, Oprah Winfrey. She rules with an iron fist - the left one. It has a mind blowing population of over 3 billion residents, rendering it twice the size of China. Many historically significant events in Prince Albert include:
In early February of 2005 (or Febrinia 4th, 674 039 in the Prince Albertan calendar), the walls between the great forests of Cheese and Prince Albert, whose powerful military force, the Prince Albert Nation Special-Forces Yardarmy (P.A.N.S.Y) had always held the Planimals at bay, were taken by Planimals. After breaching the first wall, the planimals were nearly turned back, until the Squirapple general, Lord Nifty, threatened to blackmail Captain Lorne Chaude of the P.A.N.S.Y.'s Emu division with evidence of a homosexual college love affair. Captain Chaude opened the second wall's gates, allowing the Planimals free reign of Prince Albert, ergo the world. Fortunately, all was not lost. James Gronlid, Hoél Crotwell, and Dan Melville, the General Trifecta of the P.A.N.S.Y. ninja division, mobilized their forces from deep in the swamps of Mexico towards their homeland. By the time they arrived, nearly seventeen thousand people had been eaten by Planimals. Long story short, the ninjas decimated the Planimals and booted them back into the forests of Cheese. They then rebuilt the ruined city and its walls single-handedly, using nothing but toothpaste, fudge, and Gopher Soda. Four days later, the solid stone walls of Prince Albert stood, stronger than ever.
The Great Chicago Fire
Contrary to popular belief, The Great Chicago Fire was neither Great, in Chicago, nor a Fire. It was started one tragic day in the Monarchy of Prince Albert, when suddenly, through the deliciousness of The Carlton Cafeteria Gravy, Ash Ketchum, the leader of the Planimals, had, quote unquote, an "Orgasm in his mouth". Without further ado, word of mouth changed this unruly act into a feat of bravery. Rumour of that day states that a small flood from the north bathrooms occured. It was only the orgasmic potential of the Gravy that frightened the water back to its' toiletry grave. The transformation process of a small toilet flood into a great fire is unknown, but it is believed that George Orwell stole Ash's mind and transfered it into a small chinese man working in Chicago.
World War II
World War II was caused when Adolph Hitler, a rogue member of the Prince Albertan citizenry, widely considered to be the most powerful individuals in the universe, single-handedly killed millions of Jews with nail clippers and figs. Reluctant to get involved personally, the Prince Albertans convinced the rest of the Allied nations to take out Hitler and his Nazi army, composed of Germans, Asians, several Bad Religion fans, and Mel Gibson. After four years of watching their allies struggle against the Nazis, Prince Albert decided to send in eighty-six P.A.N.S.Y. soldiers. The P.A.N.S.Y. soldiers, wary of Hitler's powers, decided to go undercover. They posed as Nazis and became close to Hitler's highly feministic generals and told them that Hitler was a fan of sleazy sex moves that included The Ostrich, The Grizzly Bear, and the dreaded Walrus. The giant East German women shaved their mustaches and beat Hitler with their shoes until he finally expired in gasping agony. This is how we won World War II.