Prince Charles
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“Wait... Charlie will be Head of State just because he is the son of a former Head of State? What a crazy country!
”
~ George Dubya Bush on Succession
“Give me your crown biach!”
~ Prince Charles on The Queen
The first-born of English Queen-head Liz Windsor and her consort Prince Philip the Asshole, The GuggenshitTM, HRH Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, Duke of Rothesay, Duke of Cornwall, Hater of Modern Architecture, Lord of the Flies, Flatulent Hermit of Lindisfarne, Chief Hermit of Westmorland, Clone of Prince Philip, also known as The King of Late Night, is a professional gimp, wine connoisseur, and television personality[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] who currently hosts the British late-night television show The Rather Late Programme. As you read this article you may feel a mild sensation of arousal. Don't worry, everybody loves a bit of bat-eared mediocrity.
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[edit] Birth
Prince Charles, or "Big C" as he is known in the WI, is in fact not of royal birth. The persona of the Prince was adopted in 1237 after "Chuck Gandy" (the Prince's former name) was extradited from Bolivia to be tried on several charges of making daisy chains on Blackpool Pleasure Beach (a criminal offence and violation of the CIA Treaty on Human Rights). He was subsequently sentenced to 5465464 months hard labour in the Ukraine but was bullied by other inmates to such an extent that the Sultan of Brunei intervened. He was given a new face and a new name under which it would be (almost) impossible to trace him and implanted into the British Royal family.
The above story is not actually true, but it's the one Prince Charles likes to put-about to make his past seem more exotic than it actually is so we've related it above in accordance with HRH's wishes. God save the Prince!
[edit] Respected
Prince Charles is one of the most widely respected individuals alive today. He is renowned for his intelligence, bravery and hard-working nature. The Prince is considered to be an expert in the fields of nuclear astro-physics, ancient Egypt, Friendship, paper cutting and contemporary literature.
His recent marriage to Camilla Parker-Bollocks (Bride of Chuckie) was one of the most glamorous weddings of modern times only marred slightly by the disappointment felt among many of his female subjects and the very small minority who continue to believe that he may have been better off staying with that better-looking one he married in the first place.
There is not a hint of genetic inbreeding in his appearance or his demeanor. He is furthermore regarded as one of the most intelligent species of moss known by current scientists.
He holds Advanced Degrees from many respected institutions such as the University of Phoenix, University of Stockport and Lower Bredbury as well a Devry University, and the "School for people who are a that clever they're weird" in Clitheroe Lancashire..(Wahhheeyyy! u mean CRGS? ahahah! its true! I'm clever AND weird!!! well done! u have undermined my very purpose of being at that school...i hate it..did ya no that?), in many many subjects as diverse as Quantum Physics and their effect on drawing pins, Badger Fertility and Bus Stations in Antarctica.
His most famous piece of Literature. "What the Beastie Boys can teach us about Grade separated Inner City Ring Roads" published in November of 1075 is considered such a piece of genius that many who read it have become deranged due to such a high influx of academic information. Indeed respected academic and philosopher Pete off Big Brother was found running naked down the outside lane of the M180 motorway near Scunthorpe pretending to be a X reg Ford Focus with dodgy brakes, after reading this piece of scholarship.
[edit] Offspring
As far as it is known by British tabloids, the Prince has sired two sons, Prince Harry, and Prince William. Quite fortunately for the BBC and the British public in general, his progeny are far more attractive than their father, so attractive that the vast majority of attractive British girls have been impregnated by them by failure of the use of the king sized condom. After the death of his estranged spouse, Princess "Pie"anna, the Prince was often seen escorting his current mistress who may be seen on page 3 of any English newspaper. He is also alleged to have had relations with an old hag from Dorchester during the late 1980s. He has denied this, however, claiming that it was in fact a middle-aged hag. It is said that his ears stick out due to being pulled out of his mother's womb by his ears. Research shows that his mother, Queenie, has a rather bucket like pussy.
[edit] Military Career
In his short military carreer, he entirely legitimately rose through the ranks to become Marshall of the Armed forces, and has since been personally attributed to the assassination of such dangerous public enemies as:
- John Prescott
- Saddam Hussein
- James Blunt
- God
- Many, many, many foxes
[edit] Current Location
He has been sighted in Downtowncity downtown the city numerous times for picking up future brides. Pictures of him sunbathing on a giant whale were printed out in the Sunday Times in a 25th december special edition. Camilla Parkyer-Balles, his dog, also accompanies him on all vacations, like a good dog does. Charles has also been spotted in Jamaica, at the home of the Godfather, who is a registered psychopath psychiatrist under the name of Jon Bon Jovi.
[edit] Controversy of his sexual orientation
He married Princess Diana, and later after she had migrated to a country called Kingdom Come, Prince Charles married Cuntmiller. But before his marriage with that cheap whore, he was found to be a homosexual, having gay affair with a palace male servant.
He was found that he get married in order to cover the truth that he is a gay. It was found also that he divorce Princess Diana because he is homosexual.
He was found to have anal sex, oral sex and even nasal sex with the male servant.
Barmy British Stuff Due to his current marriage, it is believed that he is into horseplay.
[edit] Music Career
Prince Charles announced in June 2008 that he would be singing in a Post Hardcore, Death, Rave, Pop, Rap, Punk, Thrash metal band. He stated that the band would be called "Soon I'll Be King" and will release their first EP early 2009 entitled "Haunted By A Dogs Face" inspired by Camilla.
[edit] The Rather Late Programme
Prince Charles personally hosts the British late-night television show The Rather Late Programme, a chat and variety show. Broadcast live from Buckingham Palace, the show features perfectly serious dicussion of world events and other, non-sexual topics. The show is currenty the #1 highest-rated show in Britain, and has earned Prince Charles the title The King of Late Night.
[edit] See also
- Camilla Parkyer-Balles
- Prince William
- Turking the manservant
- Frank Garrett - his long lost twin
- List of words that Fergie can spell
| Preceded by: Current Monarch Queen Elizabeth II | Line of Succession to the British Throne | Succeeded by: HRH Prince William |
Barmy British Stuff 
