Prince Charming

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A handsome, well-endowed Randy Orton usually plays 'sleeping beauty' but may as well be 'Awoken beauty' for this.
This article deals with the folklore figure. For the current Disneyland Great Council member, see Charming, Prince of Calisota.

Prince Charming is a general scallywag who absconds with maidens and wenchs in numerous fairytales. Originally, however, the story of Charming was one long tale which has subsequently been split into various tales, much like Sleeping Beauty.

Stories with Prince Charming[edit]

  • Snow White: At the beginning of the story Charming is compelled to steal the girl's heart to give to the Queen. He finds her asleep and unsuspecting, but is beaten by the Dwarves, and must flee into the forest.
  • Sleeping Beauty: After escaping the dwarves he goes and finds Sleeping Beauty under a tree. After a kiss Beauty awakes and leaves him alone and rejected, with a law suit.
  • Cinderella: Still looking for some action he goes to the Kingdom, where he finds a rich Jewish-American Princess with a throng of suitors, named Cinderella. He buys her some shoes, which she likes, but she dumps him anyway. Again the dejected suitor takes his leave.
  • Rapunzel: He comes upon a tall tower and meets a girl inside who wants to keep him. They live happily for awhile, but fearing commitment he tries to escape. Rapunzel's mother, a witch, turns him into a frog for breaking her daughter's heart.
  • Frog Prince: Finally the main character of his own life Charming goes and lives in a well. A princess (there are many debates as to who the princess is, most commonly held are Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie) finds him and kisses him, turning him into a giant horrible beast, worse off than before. He flees at her horror.
  • Beauty and the Beast: Ensconsed in his Fortress of Solitude surrounded by singing dishware the beast prince lives a life of solitude until a metrosexual named Gaston decides he is attracted to the hairy guys, and the two live out their lives together in bliss.

As the story was so long it was often broken down into shorter tales, and as time went on Prince Charming's full story was lost, with different princes in each of the six stories he had featured in. Another fictional character, Casanova is based on Prince Charming.

Modern Renditions[edit]

Much has been made of the role of Charming in modern literature. Still as much a staple as before the perpetual womanizer has been criticised by feminists and Freud. New versions of the story usually tell of the Prince living as a bachelor, or unhappily divorced paying child support, or even occasionally reversing the story entirely and having the Prince settle down happily with the various women in the story, effectively emasculating the views of the acceptability of men to wander the countryside and make off with women without consequences. Of course this is a load of nonsense, and men are still inspired by the Charming character today, living pleasant lives of debauchery.