Princess

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Oh my! That's not the kind of offer you make to a Princess. Now get out!

Princesses are the ultimate evil. Their job is to be trapped by the villain so the hero will go through innumerable dangers in order to save them from this villain, thus ensuring the death of either the hero, villain, or in some cases, both. Princesses like pink, flowers, faked innocence and dying people. They also seem to be both a "Tom-Boy" and ultimately feminine at the same time.

Famous Princesses[edit]

Famous princesses include:

In each case, the hero goes through many trials in order to save this woman. In the books and movies, she ensures the death of the villain and many of their minions by becoming captured. In the games, she ensures the death of the hero hundreds of times, even more villains being killed and her captor being killed as well. Thruout all this, she herself is perfectly unharmed.

Why Princesses Have to Look Perfect[edit]

All Princesses have perfectly shaped faces, a perfect complexion and perfect speech. This is because heroes are very superficial people, and only like to save pretty woman. If a princess is ugly, then she is either a villain or will be killed at the end of the story. Heroes also tend not to like women with certain characteristics, and tend to kill them if they:

  • Have black hair and wear excessive make-up
  • Sing in a deep voice
  • Have a british accent (Deep voice included)
  • Have a cape
  • Have a wicked laugh. Although, disliking this tends to be a pretty smart move

Real-life Princesses[edit]

Real life princesses don't matter (especially since that famous princess became a secular Saint and then smashed up in the tunnel), are usually annoying, and not half as kind as fictitious Princesses. Not to mention that they are all European.