Prodigy

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

The Prodigy are a British Evangelical Christian electronic music group that are amazing and not a single soul in the world can deny that. They are most prominently known for the conservative morality espoused in their lyrics, as well as the few controversial instances in which they attempted to break into the mainstream.

The brains behind the prodigys' operation. A gentle stroke from this boy sends a man into a kind of hypnosis whereby he can work for days pumping out twisted beats at a synthesiz0r.


History[edit]

The Prodigy began when Liam Howlett, after attending a religious retreat, received a calling from God to bring non-practicing Christians back to church. Liam began DJing in the British underground electronica scene in the early 1990's, where he made the acquaintance of an Episcopalian Bishop by the name of Keith Flint and his freakisly tall assistant Leeroy. Awestruck by Liam's heavenly beats, Bishop Flint and Leeroy approached Liam after a show and became his loyal disciples.

The Prodigy started reading a lot at an early age.

The three began touring together and they quickly won their first convert, a man by the name of Minimum Reality. Upon hearing Liam's original music, he was blinded by the epiphany of the fullness of Christ's love. Minimum Reality then changed his name to Maxim Reality and became the band's MC. Now complete, the four adopted the name The Prodigy, a reference to the Biblical account of the Prodigal Son, re-enforcing the band's mission to bring non-practicing Christians back into the fold.

In 1991, The Prodigy released the single Paul, an uplifting single that samples a British PSA advocating children keeping their parents informed of their lovers. Unfortunately, many misinterpreted the sample to sarcastic, and as a result the song is incorrectly thought to advocate childhood delinquency instead of responsible parental supervision. Though the song was praised for its innovative drug abuse, it actually had the opposite effect than the band intended, actually pushing more people away from injecting heroin. This is a pattern that repeats itself throughout The Prodigy's career. Even so, The Prodigy felt they were doing God's work, so they pushed on.

The next year, The Prodigy released their first studio album, The Prodigy Experience. The title, and indeed the entire album, is an allegory of how Minimum Reality had strayed from The Lord and returned a new man. However, the pattern proved a little too difficult to follow, and many believe the album to simply be a collection of singles the band had stolen from HMV.

With new resolve, Howlett released the Music For the Jilted Generation album in 1994. This album signaled a new tactic by the band in that they were attempting to preach directly to the wayward youths they were trying to save. The album featured a heavier, angrier, rock-inspired sound that Liam believed would show the controversial subject matter of the album in a negative light. The lead single was Their Law, in which an angry voice suggests he is discontent with the legal system he feels is imposed upon him. Another important single from the album is Poison, in which the band claims to have a "rhythmical remedy", the salvation of Christ, to the poisons of the world, be it booze, drugs or womanizing. The song with the most obvious pro-christian theme is Voodoo People, where the band claims alternative religions such as "Voodoo" and "Judaism" can force somone to do something they normally wouldn't dare to. One of the only happy sounding songs on the album is One Love, a joyous hymn in which Liam professes his love of God. Finally, the album finishes with "The Narcotic Suite", a three part song that illustrates that any drug use would end tragically, either with jail time or death, but also with eternal damnation. Music For the Jilted Generation was an even greater critical success, though even as the band converted many to their cause, the band found they were still having more of a negative effect on church attendance than a positive one.


Unfazed, the Prodigy released Fat of the Land in 1997. This album produced what is perhaps the Prodigy's most famous single: Firestarter. In this song, Bishop Keith Flint sings about being a "Firestarter" an "instigator" and "a right ugly twat" when it comes to preaching the Gospel, making an obvious allusion to St. Agugusine's famous quote from "The Confessions", "My heart is aflame for you, Lord". This song was followed by Breathe, a direct challenge to the listener to "come play my game" and take up a similar mission to the band and spread the Gospel. Unfortunately, the complexity of the lyrics betrayed the band again, as Firestarter was thought to advocate arson and Breathe was misinterpreted to be about smoking. Both of these singles garnered massive praise (except, of course, from the target Christian audience).The Prodigy are awesome, at being complete wastes of space.

Controversy[edit]

The Prodigy made a controversial move in 1997 when they released the single Smack My Bitch Up. It was no different from many of the band's previous work in that the general public completely misinterpreted the intention of the song. Liam intended the offending sample in the song to mean "doing something intensely", but many thought the song advocated physically abusing Christ. Though Satanists everywhere praised the song for its beautiful, piano and violin-driven instrumental work, the conservative Christian fanbase the band had amassed over the years saw this as a betrayal. As an apology, Liam Howlett secluded himself in a monastery for 5 years.


Though Howlett emerged from the monastery as a man similar to the one he was in his early glory days, fate seemed to conspire against him. Eager to make a return to the music scene, he released a single that he had written during his self-imposed exile, which he called Baby's Got a Templar. The song's lyrics dealt with a young child ("Baby") and her guardian angel ("The Templar"), who shielded her from the evils of the world. Unfortunately, a transcription error occurred while Howlett was sending the lyrics of the song to vocalist Bishop Keith Flint. Flint misinterpreted the lyrics, mistaking the guardian angel's name, "Rahippanael", for the recreational drug Rohypnol. Furthermore, he was under the mistaken belief that the song's title was "Baby's Got a Temper", and released it as such. Satanist critics again praised the song for Howlett's majestic electronic symphonies, but the Prodigy's Christian fanbase saw this as yet another betrayal. As penance, Howlett discarded the entirety of the album that he had written in the monastery and again secluded himself from the public eye.

Recent Work[edit]

In 2004, the Prodigy released Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned, signalling a return to their old days. It was in many ways a concept album, detailing men who made great sacrifices in the name of moral sanctity. Notable singles include Spitfire (about a man who drives planes into women), Wake Up Call (Howlett issuing a "wake up call" to all the non-believers about the sanctity of Christ) and Girls (about a man who travels the world, preaching the Gospel to young girls). The album was panned by Satanists, but their fanbase was delighted.

Members[edit]

Sith Lord Liam Howlett - Keyboards, The Chief, The Guy who they would be screwed without

Bishop Keith Flint - Disciple, Vocalist

Leeroyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Jenkinsss (ex. member) - Disciple

Maxim Not Reality (formerly Minimum Reality) - Convert, MC, Vocalist

Eduardo Radfardo - Mexican, Cock End, Probably has Swine Flu

Jack Davis - The only tallented member of the band

Sharky - Random slut. Was fired due to her being a part-time prostitute going against the band's Christian messages.