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Prophets are people who claim to be in contact with God and/or have the power to make things cream-filled, who doesn't like things that are cream-filled? Unlike the rest of humanity they apparently have a really sweet broadband connection to the Almighty, and not just a couple of cans and a piece of string.


A group of prophets celebrating their prophethood.

Since the dawn of time, prophets have walked among us. They invented religion, and as such hold the patents to it. The name prophet stems from a terse conversation that occurred between Ugg, the very first prophet, and a doubter in his prehistoric tribe. Thanks to the time-traveling pilgrims this conversation has been plucked from obscurity, and delivered to modern science.


Answering machines are just one of the devices used by God to deliver messages to prophets.

Prophets use a very sophisticated process. This requires three steps:

Famous prophets[edit]

Over the eons many people have claimed to be prophets. Some are more credible than others. But all produce that spicy, cheesy goodness that mankind so craves.