Protestant Reformation

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If you're looking for an article that actually makes any sense of this event, see Protestant. Or not, I'm not sure. Who the fuck found the religion!?

“Wow, the Reformation is one of the best events in history, if you don't count the Crusades and the Black Death.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Reformation

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Martin Luther wishes he was the King of Luthers, but at least he founded the Republic of Tasmania (or some shit like that).

The Protestant Reformation began when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of a prominent mind control center. This began a process from which eventually came a new franchise of Christianity, i.e. Protestantationalism, whose followers are known as prostitutes. This also began a glorious new era of worshipping the J man, and the dawning of a new compassion and tolerance towards the world and each other. If you disagree, perhaps you should shut your hideous heathen mouth and submit to God before you and your family burn in hell for all eternity. Amen.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Protestant Reformation.

Apparently believed by some prostitutes to be the original 95 Theses, Oscar Wilde himself has proclaimed it to be nothing more than "fgebat pelcgb".

[edit] Contents of the 95 theses

These are a subject of much debate, since the original papers were lost during the Toilet Paper shortage of 1669, but Historians tentatively agree on the following:

1. Children are not to be molested, except on any day of the week that ends in Y
2. If the Pope sees his shadow, this means there will be 6 more weeks of Crusades before Inquisition
3. Other religions are to be tolerated. But only if they accept Jesus as the one true incarnation of God and submit to him and his teachings as the only means to salvation.
4. For God's sake (literally) STOP HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW IT'S A SIN!!!

These are constantly being updated as new light is shed by historical research.

[edit] Aftereffects of the Reformation

One of the effects of this noble movement was that through immigrants to America, the natives became familiar with the enlightened followers of Jesus, whose submit or die policy undoubtedly saved the souls of millions of Indians. Another result was that the Pope decided to jazz up Catholicism to be more competitive. These measures included robes with funny hats to impress the faithful, and booze and crackers.